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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #monsters, #office equipment, #email servers, #ancestral hime, #reduce expenses, #data vampires, #exagerration, #fiber optic

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I.T. person: I moved our email servers to my ancestral home of Transylbonia to reduce expenses. You might have heard rumors that all Transylbonians are data vampires, but I assure you it's an exaggeration. There's this one guy, Doug..." Transylbonian: Dude! It's fiber-optic! Doug: It's really not my thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2012's comic on:


Tags #hats, #inventions, #brainwave reader, #nearest computer thoughts, #blurry image, #video, #beta version, #video quality

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Dilbert: My brainwave reader invention can control the nearest computer with my thoughts. Boss: Why am I seeing a video of a blurry image that looks like you slapping another blurry thing that looks like me? Dilbert: I don't think it's fair to complain about the video quality of the beta version.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2012's comic on:


Tags #charity, #bottle caps, #fund, #chemo, #pro children, #snopes.com, #internet hoax, #award mug

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CEO: Thanks to your leadership, we collected twenty thousand bottle caps to help fund chemo for poor children. And thanks to your... whatever... we checked snopes.com and learned that the bottle cap thing was an internet hoax. I only brought one teamwork award mug, so you'll have to take turns drinking from it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2012's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #tupac video, #holgram, #data cloud, #economical

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Catbert: Ted, have you seen the Tupac video where he performs as a hologram? We've decided to do the same thing with all of our employees. We're going to move your data to the cloud. Ted: Tupac is dead. Catbert: I think you mean economical.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #joke, #tuxedo

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Dilbert is getting dressed and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dilbert holds up a cummerbund and says, "I thought I had this tuxedo thing figured out, but what the heck is this?" Dogbert replies, "Oh, that's the kumberbuzle. You wear it on your head like a sweatband." Dogbert continues, "Then you clip your pens and pencils to the kumberbuzle." Dilbert says, "Ah, that explains why the shirt has no pocket."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 1989's comic on:


Tags #laundry

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Dilbert looks into the washing machine and says, "I knew I shouldn't have left the laundry in the washer all night." Dogbert says, "I'll get a chisel." Dilbert takes the clothes out and says, "It seems to have coagulated into a grotesque dried-up-fiber-donut-sculpture-kind-of-a-thing." Dilbert points to the bundle and says, "I think this is a sleeve of my sport coat." Dogbert asks, "Do you want that in a size 38?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #neal, #kneel, #eatachair

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Dilbert sits on the doorstep with his head in his hands. Dogbert says, "So when your new boss said his name was 'Neal,' you thought he meant K-N-E-E-L . . . So you . . ." Dilbert replies, "Yes . . ." Dogbert rolls on the ground laughing. Dilbert says as they enter the house, "Thank you for understanding." Dogbert says, "Boy, it's a good thing his name isn't something like 'Eatachair.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1989's comic on:


Tags #public fountain, #taunt, #thirsty, #cooties, #water, #slurp

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Dilbert looks down at a water fountain and says, "I hate this . . . When I'm really thirsty, there always seems to be some disgusting public fountain to taunt me." Dilbert continues, "No doubt this thing is crawling with cooties, and I'll have to wrap my lips around it to slurp the water out." The fountain says, "Hey, I'm not too thrilled about you, either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 1990's comic on:


Tags #biblical events, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #eve, #date, #love, #woman, #played

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . And women have always played hard to get . . ." The caption says, "Dilbert and Eve." Dilbert and Eve stand behind a bush. Dilbert asks, "Then how about a date next year?" Eve replies, "I'd love to, but I don't have a thing to wear." Both of them are naked.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogs, #Dogbert, #sweaters, #toilets, #john, #Fun, #honest, #animal behavior

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Dilbert sits in his chair thinking, "The great thing about dogs is their loyalty." Dogbert says, "I flushed all of your sweaters down the john, because it was fun." Dogbert continues, "And I'll do it again ha ha ha!" Dilbert turns toward the reader and thinks, "Dogs are honest, too."