Search Results for "blame"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"My company wants me to design a private moon shuttle in three months. Doom is inevitable." "What you need is a scapegoat to blame for the project never getting finished. I'll send one over." "I was almost done, and then this idiot comes along."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"There's one thing you should know..." "Whoa, whoa, Asok!" "What?" "Never tell him anything when he's distracted." "He won't remember what you say. Later he'll blame you for not telling him." "Also avoid telling him anything when he's angry, late, or busy." "And don't tell him anything when he's tense or hungry." "That doesn't leave much." "I usually wait for a yawn." Yawn! "My project is behind schedule because the vendor lied!!!" "The next one is all yours."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I told our CEO that the design would be done in a month. He's ecstatic!" "That would be good except that I told you it won't be done for six months." "Ooh." "So, I guess you'll have to tell him." "It's too late." "He's already issued a press release. You'll have to finish the design in a month." "The only way to do it in a month is to accept massive design flaws that will destroy a billion dollar line of business." "That's okay. My stock options are so underwater that it won't make any difference." "I'll just blame all of the problems on the Chinese company that manufactures our products." "Ultimately, it's the CEO's fault for failing to give me proper incentives."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #magic, #inventions, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Every time I think I've invented something, I find out it already exists. Mombert: Maybe that's because all minds are connected by the morphic field. Dilbert: Morphic fields are pseudoscience, mom. Mombert: I also blame your dad's crappy genes.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2014's comic on:


Tags #partnership, #deadlines, #blame, #originality

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You two have failed to meet your project milestones. Dilbert: That's because you paired me with a toxic moron who is incapable of having an original thought. Coworker: That happened to me, too.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2014's comic on:


Tags #ceos, #executives, #product, #blame, #layoffs

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our sales for the quarter are zero. Because I might have mentioned on CNBC that we have a better, cheaper model coming soon. So... great job on the new product... and I need to fire half of you so it looks as if I do things. Voice: What is your home address?

Success Is About Who You Know

Thank you for voting.
Success Is About Who You Know - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #success, #blame, #blaming

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Success is all about who you know. I'm not successful, so apparently it doesn't help to know you. Dilbert: I"m sorry I let you down. Wally: It's as if you aren't even trying.

Wearing Gloves To Handle Spreadsheet

Thank you for voting.
Wearing Gloves To Handle Spreadsheet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #numbers, #math, #blame, #messenger

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss asked me to show you some numbers he put together. CEO: Why are you wearing gloves? Dilbert: I'm afraid to get it on my hands.

Ted Never Got The File

Thank you for voting.
Ted Never Got The File - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #blame, #communication, #responsibility, #technology, #guest artist, #brenna thummler

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I never got the file you said you would send. Dilbert: I don't know what file type you want. Ted: Why didn't you ask? Dilbert: Why didn't you check your email and see that I did? Ted: Why didn't you text me to say you emailed me? Dilbert: Why don't you drive into a ravine?

Managing Your Boss

Thank you for voting.
Managing Your Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #management, #accountability, #blame, #time, #time management

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your project is three weeks behind schedule. Dilbert: That's the exact amount of time I was waiting for you to answer my questions. Boss: You need to manage me better. Dilbert: Okay, you're fired.