Search Results for "health"
Share September 24, 1999's comic on:
Wally stands in front of the boss' desk and says, "The wavy pattern on the carpet is making me dizzy." Wally says, "I'd better go home and sleep it off." Wally says, "I'll be back tomorrow unless all the sleep makes me groggy."
Share April 12, 2001's comic on:
The boss is facing protesters who are carrying signs with a peace sign and a slogan, "Stop Drilling." A protester says, "You're ruining the pristine beauty of Elbonia!" The boss holds up a picture of a barren tree. The boss says, "This is a picture of pristine Elbonia." The protesters are putting the signs in the trunk of a car. A female protester says, "..And then you said, 'It doesn't matter if we see it first.' Then I said..."
Share July 17, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Dilbert says to Wally, "Our lives are pathetic. We do nothing but eat, work, and sleep." Dilbert continues, "Eat, work, sleep...eat, work, sleep...eat, work, sleep." Wally responds, "Great - I just finished lunch and you're making me hungry!"
Share February 08, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert is at a party; he has an exoskeleton. He's holding a drink and talking to a woman. Dilbert says, "My medication makes me carefree and happy, but the side effect is an exoskeleton." Dilbert continues, "Remember the old saying - 'Beauty is only skin deep.'" He giggles, "Hee hee." Dilbert continues, "But enough about me. I don't want to look shellfish." The woman responds, "You had a chance until the pun."
Share September 10, 2003's comic on:
wally: "I've never been a project manager before." "I understand I'm supposed to direct your natural talents and energies toward a common goal." Wally: "Carol, did you make copies of the agenda?" Carol: "No, it sounded hard."
Share December 05, 2003's comic on:
Doctor: You've got a bad case of carpal punchel syndrome. Doctor: Don't use your "fist of death" for a few weeks. Alice: GAAA!!! Wally: the "Foot of death" is not the same. Asok: It is only slightly menacing.
Share January 16, 2004's comic on:
Share October 02, 2004's comic on:
CEO: The shareholder meeting turned ugly when I said we used all the profits to give ourselves stock options. They don't understand that I wouldn't work as hard if all I got was my million dollar case salary. Id barely have the energy ti spans my secretary. The boss: Too much info
Share July 29, 2005's comic on:
"First I'll saw open your head. Then I'll replace your faulty brain with a fresh cauliflower." "How do I know you won't put me to sleep, eat the cauliflower and claim the operation worked?" "That reminds me: your insurance doesn't cover anesthesia."
Share June 21, 2007's comic on:
Dogbert the green consultant Dogbert: "Your coworkers have identified you as a source of methane." Dogbert: "If we capture this free source of energy we can power a small office building." Wally: "I give and I give."