Search Results for "help"
Share July 30, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert sits across from a desk and says, "I've decided to become a pop psychologist. I need your help to make my lecture video." A man in sunglasses replies, "You came to the right place, babe. First, you need a new look." Dogbert is wearing a pony tail of false hair and a pointed brassiere. Dogbert says, "Nice try, but frankly, this look didn't work too well for Madonna either."
Share September 12, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert and George Lucas walk down a hallway in a movie studio. Lucas says, "My first film was the 1969 moon landing." Lucas shows Dogbert a globe, an astronaut doll and a model rocket. Lucas says, "The spacemen were actually Barbie dolls wrapped in aluminum foil." Lucas plays with two dolls and says, "Help! Ken! Help! I'm out of air! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" Dogbert says, "I guess you had help with the writing."
Share September 16, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert walks on a sidewalk thinking, "I'm in such a bad mood. I've got to trip an ugly stranger. That will cheer me up." Dogbert trips a man and the man's glasses fly off his face as he falls. Dogbert walks away thinking, "That's a technique you won't find in any self-help book."
Share November 12, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "As my dog, I think you should be doing more to help me meet attractive single women during our walks." Dilbert continues, "Try to be cuter, and look more pet-able." Dilbert continues, "And it's not funny when you do your impression of a frothing mad dog every time somebody walks by." Dogbert replies, "That's my John Sununu impression."
Share February 18, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert asks Ruebert the Robot, "What are you doing in my lab, Ruebert?" Ruebert replies, "I am creating a feminine robot to nurture and serve me." Ruebert continues, "I didn't know how to program it, so I found this 'National Organization of Women' in the telephone book . . ." Ruebert continues, "It turns out that this is exactly the kind of thing they like to help with." The female robot asks, "Do you like surprises?"
Share May 25, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits at the table working with test tubes and lab equipment. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Sometimes I wonder if it's ethical to do these genetic experiments." Dilbert continues, "But I rationalize it because it will help improve the quality of life." Dogbert asks, "What are you making?" Dilbert replies, "Skunkopotamus."
Share May 28, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I need an outside consultant like you to help with layoffs." The Boss continues, "My main concern is to minimize the pain and hardship that goes with this." Dogbert asks, "With generous severance pay?" The Boss replies, "No, I think that would only make my pain and suffering worse."
Share June 02, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk watching the video phone. Dilbert says, "This video phone will be a big help for dating." Dilbert continues, "This way I can weed out the unattractive prospects in seconds." Dogbert asks, "Isn't there a camera on your end too?" Dilbert replies, "No system is perfect."
Share July 03, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert stands in his house talking on the telephone. His clothes are disheveled. Dilbert says into the phone, "Lucky Airlines? I demand payment for the luggage I lost when we crashed into the mountain." Dilbert says, "No, technically it's not 'lost.' . . . Well, yes, I did eat your complimentary peanuts . . ." Dilbert hands the phone to Dogbert and says, "Help me out here . . . So far, I've agreed to hot-wax their tarmac."
Share July 14, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dilbert says, "I can't help thinking that my new wealth will lead to tragedy." Dilbert continues, "It seems like rich people always have horrible tragedies." Dogbert asks, "Like what?" There is a flash of lightning. Dilbert's clothes have been burned and his body is charred. Dilbert replies, ". . . Like being struck by lightning on a clear day." Dogbert points to the sky and shouts, "Incoming meteor!!"