Search Results for "honesty"

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Dilbert Offends Coworkers

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Dilbert Offends Coworkers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #honest, #truth, #polite, #politeness, #etiquette & ethics

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Boss: I'm hearing reports that you have been offending your co-workers. Dilbert: By being honest? Boss: Yes. Cut it out. Dilbert: Okay, will do. And you believe me, right?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dating, #social, #social interaction, #honesty, #politeness, #overshare

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Woman: So, tell me a little about yourself, and be totally honest. Dilbert: Totally honest? Okay... I like technology more than I like people. I don't believe in free will, soulmates, or following my passion. I think life is a brief, meaningless event in a random universe that doesn't care. I only associate with other people because I have biological and economical needs. I think all human actions are driven by selfishness. Woman: Uh... okay. Do you have any questions for me? Dilbert: Am I still being totally honest or should I act curious?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #problems, #talking, #solution, #obliviousness, #criticism, #honesty

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Boss: Why didn't you tell me our biggest vendor pulled out of the deal? Dilbert: If I told you my problems, you would suggest solutions. Your solutions generally don't make sense. But you are my boss, so I would be obliged to waste time looking into your suggestions. So if you try to solve my problem, I will have two problems instead of one. Boss: Sometimes my ideas are good! Right? Dilbert: That is a dangerous way to think.

Motivation Is Magical Thinking

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Motivation Is Magical Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #magic, #inspiration, #futility, #futile, #honesty, #hard truth

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Dogbert: Motivation is a form of magical thinking in which you imagine that your words can turn useless people into high achievers. Boss: But it totally works, right? Dogbert: Yes, because magic is real. Boss: Is it hard to learn? Dogbert: Not if you already know how to lie.

Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator

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Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #first impressions, #personality, #fake, #honesty, #negativity, #negative, #criticism, #dating, #attraction

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Dilbert: I invented an external brain stimulator to regulate my moods. Woman: That means your personality is artificial. How can I be attracted to a fake person? Dilbert: Are you saying your baseline personality is an unpleasant drunk? Woman: What?

People Keep Stealing His Ideas

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People Keep Stealing His Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #honesty, #insult, #conversation, #ideas

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Coworker: People keep stealing my ideas! Dilbert: Maybe that is an illusion caused by the fact that your ideas are both old and obvious. Were you hoping for a less honest reaction? Coworker: I kinda was.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2015's comic on:


Tags #sales personnel, #salesman, #sales, #honesty, #deception, #stragegy, #sociopath, #lying, #lie

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Man: I need you to join me on a sales call to tell my customer how easy it will be to switch to our software. Dilbert: It isn't easy. Man: This is a sales call. All you need to do is say everything will be easy. Dilbert: What happens when they find out it isn't easy? Man: They won't find out until after they pay us. Dilbert: What will you do when they complain? Man: I'll tell your boss you misled them. Dilbert: Not if I warn him first! Man: Too late. I already told him you're a liar.

Dilbert Times His Nods

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Dilbert Times His Nods - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #candor, #lying, #deception, #sales, #sales personnel, #ethics

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Client: Why does your engineer keep nodding? Dilbert: I don't like to lie, so I just nod while he times his lies to my nods. You were totally right about them hating candor.

The Smart Plans

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The Smart Plans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #insult, #honesty, #candor, #label, #semantics, #politeness

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Dilbert: I compared your plan to a few alternatives. Boss: Let's not label the other plans "the smart ones." Dilbert: Do you want anything else mislabeled?

Team Interview

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Team Interview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #hiring, #managers, #interviews, #employment, #honesty, #candor, #warning

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Team Interview. Dilbert: To be perfectly honest, Bob, you are unqualified to work here. Bob: Your boss already hired me. He told me to talk to you so you'd feel included in the decision. Wait... did I miss a huge red flag? Dilbert: We all did. Welcome to the team.