You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2004's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Our director of marketing will give us an update." "We spent our entire marketing budget buying a racehorse." "We named the horse after our flagship product because they're both fast, get it?" "Unfortunately we didn't have enough budget for a top thoroughbred." "Our horse broke its leg walking to the starting gate, so we shot it." "Next year we plan to sponsor a sailboat." "Anyway, your lunch today is brought to you by the marketing department." "Enjoy." "Hey, my roast beef sandwich has a piece of lead in it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2004's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"To defend lawsuits, our records retention policy has been updated to include this..." Bam! "What was I talking about?" "The records retention policy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2004's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Would you consider speaking at my son's school on career day?" "I'd do it myself, but I can't disguise the bitterness and despair that gnaw at my soul." "Plus my son has been bad and I told him I'd punish him." "I'd be honored to speak."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2004's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Career Day "When you grow up you'll be put in a container called a cubicle." "The bleak oppressiveness will warp your spine and destroy your capacity to feel joy." "Luckily, you'll have a boss like me to motivate you with something called fear." "May I see a brochure?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2004's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Career Day

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2004's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Wall is in the men's room. I've accepted a position as his seat filler.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2004's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources "Your position has been excessed, or as I prefer to say..." "I will tear the flesh from your bones!" "Phew! I love that yoga move." "There is like, no hope for a hug, right?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2004's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Remember, quality is our top priority." Quality "Question: Is it more important than safety?" "Ooh... I forgot about that one." "Question: Is quality more important than obeying the law?" "Well, probably not." "If we could maximize shareholder value by selling lower quality items..." "Wouldn't we have a fiduciary responsibility to do it?" "Hmmm" "I'm sure it's in the top four." "What if we had to lie to achieve quality?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2004's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I plan to start my own television talk show." "I'll change my name to 'Doctor Dogbert' so people think I'm qualified to call them lazy, immoral fat morons." "You already call people those names." "Yeah, but I want them to thank me for it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2004's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor Dogbert Show "Your problem is that you're a lazy, selfish, immoral moron." "Shouldn't you listen to my story before passing judgement?" "I'm adding 'time waster' to the list." "You're like a miracle worker."