Search Results for "The Boss"
Share September 25, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I need a brilliant employee to be my assistant manager." The Boss continues, "That's why I came to you." Dilbert turns and says, "That's the first nice thing..." The Boss interrupts him, "Your job is to clone me."
Share October 01, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Cloning The Boss. Dilbert is dressed as a doctor, The Boss is lying on an operation bed. Dilbert says, "There's a problem with your clone." Dilbert continues, "Wally spilled soda on the DNA module. Your clone is one- half horse posterior." Dilbert continues, "And one-half that isn't like you."
Share March 23, 2002's comic on:
The Boss types, "Trie to be moor prophesional in your commudicashuns." Dilbert and Wally read the email. Dilbert giggles at his computer, "Hee Hee!" Wally says, "Let's forward it to all our friends so they can see what an idiot we work for." Dilbert says, "But you're my only friend." Wally replies, "Don't flatter yourself."
Share April 20, 2002's comic on:
Alice asks The Boss, "How about any Tuesday this year?" The Boss replies, "No, I'm booked." Alice says, "You have the highest ratio of unavailability to usefulness I've ever seen." The Boss asks Catbert, "Does that sound like an insult?" Catbert replies, "If I could do math I wouldn't be working in human resources."
Share April 26, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert approaches The Boss and asks, "Do you have a second?" The Boss replies, "Walk and talk." Dilbert begins, "So, the supplier won't.." The Boss interrupts him with, "Hi, Pete. Hey, Tim. Hi, Barb. How are you? Not bad. Hi." Dilbert says, "Um.. Those aren't their names." The Boss replies, "My way is easier... Hi, Ted."
Share April 30, 2002's comic on:
The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, write a performance evaluation of yourself for me to sign." Alice replies, "What will our seven layers of management be doing while I manage myself?? Alice continues, "Sorry. I'll ding myself for that on my evaluation." The Boss says, "If you can't find me, have Carol sign my name."
Share May 24, 2002's comic on:
Headline: Demoted. The Boss says to Wally, "I plan to spread rumors about our new boss until I'm fired." The Boss continues, "I'll tell everyone that he's the most clueless human that ever lived. Hee hee!" Wally responds, "Believe me, that doesn't work." The Boss says, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Share June 29, 2002's comic on:
The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, you should act as if you're your own boss." Alice replies, "Okay." Alice grabs her hair into two sections and says, "My hair is pointy and I'm confused. Suddenly I have no respect for myself." Alice looks dazed. She slumps in her chair and says, "Must...golf... now." The Boss responds, "That is so-o-o not funny."
Share July 03, 2002's comic on:
The Boss says to Carol, "I call my idea 'Coffee with the Boss.' Each employee will get one hour of quality time with me." Carol responds, "I'd rather staple a skunk to my forehead and go to a trade show for banjo makers." Carol continues, "And yet, it's still better than working, so count me in." The Boss replies, "That's the spirit!"
Share July 04, 2002's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, "You're the first employee for my 'Coffee with the Boss' program." The Boss continues, "Feel free to say whatever is on your mind. Don't hold back. Give it to me straight." Dilbert says, "My chair has a squeak." The Boss yells, "You ungrateful whiny wretch!!!"