Search Results for "customer service"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2002's comic on:


Tags #set up meeting, #customer, #technology, #humiliating, #poor, #fgreat food

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Dilbert are still in barrels. The Boss says, "Set up a meeting with the customer so we can demonstrate our technology." Dilbert responds, "It's humiliating because we're so poor now. What will I feed them?" Dilbert pours cat food into bowls for the customers. He says, "If you think the food is great, wait until you see our technology!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #meeting, #no limo servoce, #cheapest way, #brownies barrel service

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is still in a barrel. The Boss says to him, "I'm sending you to Elbonia for a meeting, but we're on a tight budget." The Boss, also in a barrel, continues, "So there will be no limo service to the airport. Go there in the cheapest way possible." A bear rolls Dilbert in his barrel down the highway. The bear says, "And then I started Brownie's Barrel Service." Dilbert thinks, "He's a talker."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2002's comic on:


Tags #doctor is vet, #military service, #rubs belly

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Wally, who is still in an arm sling and head cone, "This is a guess, but I think your doctor is a vet." Wally responds, "I don't know about his military service. I just know he has great cookies." Wally continues, "And I like it when he rubs my belly." Dilbert says, "I know something you don't know."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2002's comic on:


Tags #anti itch lotion, #might cause itching, #customer list, #bear, #mean dogbert, #evil thinking, #hates people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert are walking outside. Dogbert says, "I plan to sell an anti-itch lotion that's really just honey." Dogbert continues, "I'll put a disclaimer on the bottle that says, 'Might cause itching.'" Dogbert continues, "And then I'll sell my customer list to bears." Dilbert responds, "That's not nice."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #losing cash, #operate immediately, #removal service, #operate immediatley

View Transcript

Transcript

The consultick has burrowed himself all the way through The Boss' torso. Dogbert says, "It looks like you need 'Dogbert's Consultant Removal Service.'" Dogbert continues, "He's in there good. You must be losing a lot of cash." The Boss bends over and Dogbert lifts up the back of his jacket. The consultick's head is sticking out of The Boss' back and his hand is in The Boss' pocket. Dogbert says, "It already spread to your wallet. I'll have to operate immediately."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #customer references, #parking lot, #ring

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is meeting with a salesman. Dilbert asks, "Do you have any customer references I could call?" The salesman hands him a piece of paper and says, "Right here." Dilbert calls the number, "Beep, beep, boop, beep." The salesman's cell phone rings. The salesman's cell phone continues to ring. Dilbert says, "No answer." The salesman replies, "Try again when I'm in the parking lot."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2003's comic on:


Tags #plant watering service, #less expensive one, #plastic plants

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I fired our plant-watering service and hired a less expensive one." The Boss continues, "That's the sort of leadership that will turn this company around." Wally asks, "Were we doing well?" Dilbert says, "Our plants are plastic."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2003's comic on:


Tags #international sales call, #dress, #one level above customer, #cherub, #lighting bolt, #vatican, #overdress

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I need you to go on an international sales call." Dilbert asks, "How should I dress?" The Boss responds, "Salespeople should dress one level above the customer." Dilbert is dressed like God. He has a lightning bolt in one hand and a cherub staff in the other. He asks Dogbert, "What's better - the cherub or the lightning bolt?" Dogbert responds, "Take both. You can't overdress at the vatican."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #price quote, #every expense, #alice side agreement, #hidden costs, #customer punch vendor, #freaking weasel

View Transcript

Transcript

"As you requested, this price quote includes absolutely every expense you'll incur!" "If that's true, you won't mind signing the 'Alice Side Agreement." "'In the event of hidden costs, customer will repeatedly punch vendor while telling 'you freaking weasel!'" "Pen?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2003's comic on:


Tags #website, #customer success, #closest things, #complaint letters, #few words, #kick to kiss, #change context, #reviews

View Transcript

Transcript

"Tina, we need some customer success stories for the web site." "The closest things we have are these complaint letters. Just change a few words." "Change 'kick' to 'kiss' and this one is done, albeit disturbingly."