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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #supervisor, #career, #path, #secetary, #years, #doctor, #expect, #hard work

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Dilbert says to a man at a desk, "As your new supervisor, I want to discuss your career path." Dilbert asks, "You're a secretary now, but what do you want to be in two years?" The man replies, "A famous actor . . . Or maybe a doctor." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . I don't think I can help you here . . ." The man replies, "Oh, right, but you'll expect me to work hard for you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #finances, #financial troll, #witch, #bradley, #budget report, #budget, #erasing

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Dilbert: Great... Not only am I being forced to work in the accounting department, but I'm slowly turning into a troll. Wait a minute... This is the budget for the accounting department itself... What happens if I erase it? Bradley: Boss!!? Boss!!? Witch: Help me! I'm melting! Aaagh!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #irrational, #love, #doc, #literature, #stupid, #guy-thing, #therapy

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Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to him taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . And I've had this irrational love for hardware stores as long as I can remember." Dilbert continues, "I mean . . I LOVE them. I ACTUALLY love them. You gotta help me, doc." The psychiatrist says, "I've heard of this . . . I think the literature refers to it as 'a stupid guy-thing.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1990's comic on:


Tags #garbageman, #device, #standard, #anti-light, #resonance, #paris, #truck, #clone, #stigma

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Dogbert says, "Please, Mister Garbage Man, help us fix Dilbert's cloning device and bring him back to life!!" The garbage man looks at the device and says, "This shouldn't be too hard . . . Standard anti-light resonance filters . . . Yeah, I think I have parts in the truck." Dogbert asks, "You're going to clone him from his own garbage?" The garbage man replies, "Don't tell anybody - there might be a stigma."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #bob, #dawn, #lesson, #life, #stinks, #kick, #hatch

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Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs stand in a cave watching their egg. Dawn says, "Our egg is starting to hatch!!" Bob says, "C'mon egg! Push! You can do it by yourself!!" Dawn yells, "Kick it! Kick it!" Bob asks Dawn, "Should we help?" Dawn replies, "No, it's an important lesson on life." The baby in the egg thinks, "So far it stinks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #first, #date, #elvis, #sexy, #dead, #woman

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, I know it's only our first date, but what do you think of me?" The woman replies, "You remind me of Elvis." Dilbert thinks, "Sexy." The woman thinks, "Dead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 1991's comic on:


Tags #rabert, #mystery, #dilbert's, #necktie, #non-analytical, #hundred, #ties, #brain, #power

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Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I need your help to solve the mystery of Dilbert's necktie." Ratbert says, "Gosh, Dogbert, most of my work at the lab is the non-analytical type. Sure, I've eaten a few hundred ties, but who hasn't?" Dogbert says, "It's not your brain power that I need." Ratbert asks, "Can we solve this with my good looks alone?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 1991's comic on:


Tags #rabert, #ties, #solve, #Dogbert, #mystery, #curl, #delicious, #starchy, #accessories, #placebo

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Dogbert hands a tie to Ratbert and says, "Ratbert, I want you to eat one of Dilbert's ties. Maybe it will help solve the mystery of why they always curl up." Ratbert eats the tie and says, "Mmm . . . Delicious, but starchy . . . One of the more full-bodied accessories I've tasted . . ." Dogbert carries Ratbert by the tail. Ratbert, whose body has stiffened, says, "Oil . . . can . . ." Dogbert says, "Geez . . . And that was only the placebo necktie."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1991's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #dangerous, #fridge, #ketchup, #study, #experiment, #prank

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Dogbert says, "As long as you're here, Ratbert, I could use your help." Ratbert says, "At your service!" Dogbert opens the refrigerator and says, "I'd like you to test the stuff in the fridge and see if it's dangerous." Ratbert's head is stuck inside a ketchup bottle. He says to Dogbert, "Put a question mark by ketchup." Dogbert marks his clipboard.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #stamps, #valuable, #philately, #nowhere, #prank

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Dogbert sits at a table holding a magnifying glass and looking at stamps. Dogbert says to Dilbert, "Help me look for valuable stamps. You're better at this than I am." Dilbert says, "Philately will get you nowhere." Dilbert sits at the table by himself with stamps stuck to his face.