Search Results for "lying"
Share March 10, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert says, "I've fallen in love with my phone." Dilbert says, "It entertains me. It knows where I am. It responds to my touch. It never judges me." Psychiatrist says, "So, it's like a woman to you." Dilbert says, "Way better." Dilbert says, "Are your even listening?"
Share March 17, 2009's comic on:
Share March 21, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "This is Phil, our new vice president of marginally legal activities." The boss says, "He'll be leading the effort to make our user interfaces so confusing that people have to pay us for training." Dilbert says, "We already do that unintentionally." The boss says, "Sure, but we can't always rely on luck."
Share April 27, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert says, "I worry that the bolzmann brain hypothesis is true and my reality is entirely imagined." Dilbert says, "But if I'm imagining my life, why don't I imagine better things happening to me?" Therapist thinks, "I'll probably regret this practical joke." Mmmm
Share May 08, 2009's comic on:
Topper Carol says, "My first baby weighed 12 pounds. I gave birth in the cap of a stolen backhoe." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I once passed a gallstone so big that it became secretary of labor in the Clinton administration." Carol says, "I find that hard to believe." Topper says, "Give me ten minutes and then check wikipedia."
Share May 26, 2009's comic on:
Wally says, "Agenda items four through seven don't involve me." Wally says, "I'll use that time to take a refreshing table nap. Experts say it's good for productivity." The boss says, "I need to talk to those experts." Zzzzzzz
Share May 27, 2009's comic on:
Topper Alice says, "I went for a long walk yesterday." Topper says, "That's nothing." Topper says, "My thighs are so strong that I'm afraid to jump rope when the sun is directly overhead." Alice says, "You're full of beans." Man says, "Exactly. That's how I achieve escape velocity."
Share May 29, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "In phase one, we'll tell our customer that the system failure won't happen again." Not us! The boss says, "In phase two, when it happens again, we'll act surprised." The boss says, "Then we'll say a software patch is being installed." Asok the intern says, "Gaaa!!! We're bad people!"
Share June 25, 2009's comic on:
Income Tax Auditor Man says, "You claim your company is exempt from taxes because you're incorporated in?heaven?" Dogbert says, "Exactly." Man says, "I'm not allowed to question that claim because of the seperation between church and state." Wally says, "I am the angel Wally!" DOgbert says, "Hold on, Wally. We're selling past the close."
Share August 03, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert says, "I multitask during conference calls." Dilbert says, "Is it wrong to value my own productivity over the inane babbling of others?" Therapist thinks, "Buy bread?Pickles?Light bulbs?" Dilbert says, "Hello?"