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Product Is Too Addictive

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Product Is Too Addictive  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #social media, #technology, #facebook, #twitter, #addiction, #big business, #impulse control

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Dilbert: I'm worried that we designed our product to be too addictive. Now we're more like a disease than a consumer product. Boss: Will you stop talking like that if I give you a raise? Dilbert: It's worth a try.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #meetings, #test script, #prodcut

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Dilbert says, "I spent the week writing a test script for our product." Wally says, "And I wrote a test script to test Dilbert's test script." Wally says, "Your script was almost perfect. Keep up the good work, buddy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #fraternization, #internet & world wide web, #friends with ghoats, #real freinds, #imaginary ones, #idea is ridiculous, #ridiculous idea, #facebook freinds

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Dogbert: You need to create a product that gives people the illusion of being friends with ghosts. Boss: People only want real friends, not imaginary ones. Your idea is ridiculous. Dogbert: How many friends do you have on Facebook? Boss: Seven hundred. Why?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #fraternization, #friends with ghots, #ghandi, #ghost personal page, #ghosts, #heaven, #internet & world wide web, #llincoln, #satellite pictures, #social media, #social network

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Dogbert: Our new product will be a social network for people who want to be friends with ghosts. We'll post satellite pictures on each ghost's personal page and say the photos were taken from heaven. Man: Abraham Lincoln posted new pictures. Woman: I'm chatting with Gandhi! Later.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #engineers, #lust, #pon farr cycle, #irreversible urge, #mating season, #engineer mating season, #spawn, #prodcut, #unnecessary steps, #rarely happens, #specifications, #vague

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Tina says, "Did you hear that Dilbert and Alice are on the same Pon Farr cycle?" Carol says, "What?" Tina says, "Every seven years, engineers have an irresistible urge to mate. Their spawn would be the product of two engineers." There's a reason it rarely happens Dilbert says, "Your plan has unnecessary steps!" Alice says, "Your specifications are vague!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #optimism, #patents, #patent infringement, #google, #apple, #microsoft, #oracle, #nasa, #astroid, #life span of optimist

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Lawyer: Our newest product infringes patents from Google, Apple, Microsoft, and Oracle. They've joined forces and hired NASA to nudge an asteroid toward our headquarters. Boss: I think we can win this. Lawyer: I wonder what the average life span of an optimist is.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #computers & peripherals, #software, #install and test, #database software

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Dogbert consults Dogbert: I recommend that you buy the Dogbert database software. Boss: Did I just pay a consultant to recommend his own company's software? Dogbert: I'm totally objective. Boss: Who would install and test it? Dogbert: Maybe a consultant who knows the product?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #correspondence, #electronic mail, #genius, #unfinished product, #writing, #hallmark of genius, #unexpected use of time

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Boss: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I tried to read it but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low. Boss: So it's sort of a technical problem? Dilbert: Okay.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2011's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #meetings, #creative ideas, #next prodcut, #ignorance on public disply, #cost money, #increase risk, #evaluate each idea, #disdain, #good idea

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Boss: We need creative ideas for our next product. But not from you. Your ideas are awful. And don't suggest something that is already being done. That just puts your ignorance on public display. I don't want to hear any ideas that cost money or increase risk. As usual, I'll evaluate each idea by repeating it slowly while I look at your with disdain. If you come up with a good idea, I'll let you take on the project in addition to your existing work. Who wants to go first? How did I hire so many people who have no ideas? Catbert: Probably bad luck.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #crimes, #gadgets, #inventions, #world class invenotr, #invented prodcuts, #key memeber, #fired for stealing, #stuff to steal, #high five, #hits boss

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Boss: I hired a world-class inventor. Meet Toby. When he worked for our competitor, he invented their coolest product. Toby: I was just a member of a team. Boss: A key member! Toby: Until they fired me for stealing. Wally: You came to the right place. We have tons of stuff to steal and no one ever gets caught! Toby: Give me a high five with a boss head in the middle! Noise: SLAP! Toby: That's the only thing I ever invented. Wally: Have you seen our storage closet?