Search Results for "20% cut"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 1995's comic on:


Tags #kill the messenger, #finance, #20% cut, #budget cuts, #success vector, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee from the finance department stands beside an overhead projector, giving a presentation to Dilbert and Alice. The man says, "Here's your latest budget cuts. But please don't kill the messenger from finance, ha ha!!" The man continues, "I recommended a 20% cut. A quick glance around the room tells me you're not on the success vector anyhoo, so nothing lost." The finance employee hangs out the window, tied up in the overhead projector's power cord. He says, "Tough room."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2002's comic on:


Tags #20% pay cuts, #downsize, #sounds promising

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "You can take 20% pay cuts or I'll have to downsize one of you." The Boss continues, "I know you're like a family but... Yes, Wally?" All of the coworkers are pointing at Wally. Wally doesn't know. He says, "Tell us more about the pay cut. That sounds promising."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #work ethic, #worry, #indispensible, #fired, #useless, #riskier, #toe clip, #20 years of service

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Wally, should I try to become indispensable so I won't be fired? Wally: No. Indispensable people end up working too hard because they can't risk showing anyone else how to do what they do. Asok: Being useless seems riskier. Wally: Have you seen the tie clip I got for 20 years of service?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2011's comic on:


Tags #deterioration, #recessions, #20%, #competitive, #industry, #involve crime

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our goal is to grow the top line by 20%. Dilbert: How will we do that with products that aren't competitive in an industry that isn't growing? Wally: Does it involve crime? Dilbert: If it does, blink once.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #boss brain, #profitable, #cut costs, #selling products

View Transcript

Transcript

"The boss's brain." "Hummm." "Theoretically, if I cut costs enough we'll be profitable without selling any products." "How do they get the ink in these things?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 1994's comic on:


Tags #cut budget, #spinning, #flung, #space, #locusts, #fling locusts

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: "According to you, if I cut your budget the world will abruptly stop spinning and we'll be flung into space." Tina: "Whereas, the risk of cutting Dilbert's project is '...a plage of locusts o'er the land.'" "I'll cut both projects. With any luck, we'll fling the locusts into space." Wally: "Locusts. Real good."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #broke code, #can't be measured, #cut pay, #depend on meeting, #own darn fault, #sales targets

View Transcript

Transcript

"From now on, twenty percent of your pay will depend on the company meeting its sales targets." "In effect, we'll cut your pay and tell you it's your own darn fault." "Will the sales target be based on a complex formula and involve numbers that can't be accurately measured?" "You broke the code!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 1994's comic on:


Tags #benefits, #define reality, #half the cost, #keep objectives, #rewrite business case, #cut funding

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I decided to cut your project funding in half but keep the objectives the same. Its a brilliant plan, We get all the benefits at half the costs! Dilbert: Why is it that the nuttiest people define reality? The boss: and why couldn't I rewrite the business case to increase revenue?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 1995's comic on:


Tags #hired, #finance, #dept, #cut spending, #studying, #inefficeincy, #boldface, #electricity, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I've been hired by the finance department to help cut spending." Ratbert continues, "I'll be studying your every move and looking for waste and inefficiency." Looking over Dilbert's shoulder at his monitor, Ratbert says, "Those words in boldface look like they're sucking up the ol' electricity."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 1996's comic on:


Tags #cut corners, #demo ready, #under table, #opretned, #3d interface, #useless demos, #little fuzzy, #electric shaver

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands next to a table covered with a tablecloth. A computer monitor sits on the table. Dilbert says, "We had to cut some corners to get the demo ready this soon." Wally's head pops up into the monitor. Dilbert explains, "Wally is under the table. He'll pretend to be the 3-D interface that we could build if we weren't doing useless demos." The Boss says, "He's a little fuzzy. Can you adjust it?" Dilbert hands him an electric shaver and says, "Try the electric shaver."