Search Results for "8 year old boy"
Share March 16, 2012's comic on:
CEO: Our plunging productivity is all because of an eight-year-old boy named Traylor. Traylor doesn't wash his hands, he brings home every virus and germ from school, and gives it to his mom, who brings it to work with her. Dilbert: Maybe you should see a doctor. Carol: It's just allergies!
Share July 01, 2003's comic on:
Dogbert is standing next to a stack of books on The Boss' desk. He says, "If you want to be a great leader, read the books that have inspired leaders for centuries." Dogbert holds up a book and says, "For example, the first pyramids were built after a twelve-year-old pharaoh read this book." The Boss reads the title, "Things That Look Naughty From Miles Away."
Share June 01, 2004's comic on:
"Evil director of H.R." "It's illegal for me to ask about age, sex, marital status, weight, ethnicity or disabilities." "But I can see that youre a fifty-year-old, 145-pund, mongrel spinster with some coordination issues." "Do you have any problem working on Christmas?"
Share January 26, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I have a solution for your dating dilemma." Dogbert continues, "At your age there are more single men than single women." Dogbert continues, "Worse yet, all of the single women are dating married men or serial killers." Dogbert continues, "But the statistics eventually favor men." Dilbert asks, "Really? How?" Dogbert replies, "At age 80 there are THREE TIMES as many available women as men because men die younger." Dilbert asks, "Are you saying I should wait until I'm old . . . And date 80-year-old women?" Dogbert says, "No. I wouldn't wait . . ."
Share May 03, 2013's comic on:
Carol: My 12-year-old wants to know what career would prevent him from being replaced by a robot. Dilbert: I've met your son, and I'm pretty sure he could be replaced by a hammer. Carol: This took an ugly turn. Dilbert: Maybe the robots can use him as furniture.
Share February 14, 2015's comic on:
Asok: A 27-year-old tech millionaire published his list of fifty things you need to do to succeed. Dilbert: In other words, he has no idea why he succeeded. Asok: Sure he does. He even has a chart of his top thirty... priorities. Okay, I hear it now.
Share October 31, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert: Whats in the jar? The Boss: Its the soul of the Willy Mail Boy. If you shake it real hard and hold it up to the light you can see it. Dilbert: The union didn't do to well at the old bargaining table this year. willy: These aren't our glory years.
Share August 26, 2002's comic on:
The Boss pulls a file out of his drawer and thinks, "What's this? It's our old five- year plan!" He opens the file and thinks, "I wonder how we did compared to the plan." The Boss approaches Dilbert and asks, "Have we relegated Microsoft to the dust heap of history?" Dilbert responds, "Shhh! They might hear!"
Share March 25, 2011's comic on:
The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."
Share April 23, 2011's comic on:
Ted: The committee decided that the file naming convention will start with the date, in the order of month, year, day... then a space, then the temperature at the airport, and the hat size of the nearest squirrel. To be perfectly honest, it was a long meeting and we probably didn't do our best work toward the end.