Search Results for "Alice Mentoring"


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Wally Is Ceo's Pet

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Share March 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags: bad influence, mentoring, mentor, protege, laziness, work ethic, changes Transcript

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Alice: How's it feel to be the CEO's pet employee? Wally: We call it mentoring. Alice: Has it changed you? Wally: No, but he seems more useless lately. Alice: I guess there's no backflow preventer on mentoring.

Have To Promote Wally

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Share March 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags: promotions, mentor, mentoring, protege, bad decision Transcript

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Catbert: I have to promote you to vice president because our CEO has been mentoring you. Otherwise, it would seem as if he is either bad at mentoring or bad at picking people to mentor. Alice: Now what? Wally: Would you like to hear some good news that won't make you happy?

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Share July 09, 2010's comic on:


Tags: alice, presentation, sales division, public speaking, scared, fear, stomach in mouth Transcript

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The Boss says, "Asok, I need you to help Alice give a presentation to 500 sales reps." GMPH!!! The Boss says, "Is that your stomach?" Asok says, "Yeth."

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Share October 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags: coworker, human resources, sit on table, broke arm, bandage, alice, angry, engineer, math Transcript

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Coworker says, "Alice broke my arm. You need to do something about this." Catbert says, "Okay. I'll compare Alice's economic value to yours and decide who to fire." Coworker says, "No fair! She's an engineer!" Catbert says, "You got beat up by someone who is also better at math?"

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Share September 16, 2009's comic on:


Tags: sitting, talking, angry, annoyed, stupidity, ridicule Transcript

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The Boss says, "Alice, I thought it was time for us to have a little mentoring session." Alice says, "How does this make sense when I'm more capable than you in every imporant way?" The Boss says, "Maybe we can skip the part where I say you need to be more confident and speak out at meetings." Alice says, "Duh,"

Wally Is Not Hungry To Succeed

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Share March 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags: mentor, mentoring, protege, wages, executives, ceos, compensation, work ethic, success Transcript

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CEO: I've been mentoring you for a week. Do you feel different? Wally: Yes. Spending time with you makes me feel underpaid. CEO: And that makes you hungry to succeed? Wally: I don't even see how those things are connected.

Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail

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Share March 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags: Promotion, saving face, executives, bad advice, bad ideas, mentor, mentoring Transcript

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CEO: I've been mentoring Wally for over a week and he's still useless. But we need to promote him to Vice President so it looks as if my mentoring works. Catbert: That might be a bad idea in the long run. CEO: What is this "long run" people keep harping about?

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Share March 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags: managers & supervisors, secretaries (office), work ethic Transcript

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Alice says, "I'm filling in for your boss this week, and I need twenty copies." Carol says, "That's not how it works. When he's out of the office I take a workstation vacation." Alice says, "I don't like being in charge." Carol says, "I hear it's overrated."

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Share April 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags: managers & supervisors Transcript

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Alice says, "Now you've done it. He has brain overload from your unnecessarily detailed answer." Alice says, "Great. He's totally broken and we need a decision today." Dilbert says, "Is he nodding yes?" Alice says, "I'm sensing an opportunity here."

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Share April 05, 2011's comic on:


Tags: libertarianism Transcript

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Alice says, "I'd like a quote for taxidermy on this critter." Man says, "The law says I can't stuff humans, especially when they're still breathing." Man says, "But I believe in small government, so roll him to the back."