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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #coupons, #email, #firewall, #malicious complience, #downside, #dogs of hell

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Boss: Mordac, I'm not getting the coupons by email that I signed up for. Can you dial back the firewall or something? Mordac: Absolutely. There's nothing I enjoy more than malicious compliance with your requests. Boss: Is there any downside? Mordac: UNLEASH THE DOGS OF HELL!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogs, #Entertainment, #earthquake

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Dilbert sits at his desk using a screwdriver. Dogbert says, "You know, dogs can sense earthquakes before they happen." Dogbert says, "Here comes one now." Dilbert drops the screwdriver. As Dilbert hides under the desk, Dogbert says, "This has potential to keep me entertained for weeks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 1998's comic on:


Tags #silly putty, #fake beauty mark, #too much beauty, #fashion headquarters, #heroin chic, #dogs with tumors

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Dilbert is sitting in a chair and Dogbert says, 'Do you have any 'silly putty' I can use as a fake beauty mark?" Dilbert and Dogbert ist on Dilbert's bed. Dogbert has a huge lump of silly putty on his head. Dilbert holds upa mirror and says, "Maybe you should use less." Dogbert says, "There's no such thing as too much beauty." Meanwhile, at fashion headquaters... One guy looks a photograph and says, "We got away with 'heroin chic.' What's next?" The other guy says, "How about dogs with tumors?" A big pile of photos lies onthe table.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 1999's comic on:


Tags #quality assurance, #stay alive, #million web stories, #weiner dogs

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Asok stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "They're transfering me to "Quality Assurance," Wally." As Asok gets dragged away by two people he says, "But I'll be back, no matter how long it takes, or how hard! Just stay alive!!" Wally types at his computer and thinks, "Wow. There must be a million sites about wiener dogs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2007's comic on:


Tags #25 each, #cheap hot dogs, #cover charge, #employee appreciation day, #evil director, #harder to appreciate, #pocket money

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: Employee Appreciation Day is next Tuesday. The cover charge is $25 apiece. wally: How do we know you won't buy cheap hot dogs and pocket the rest of our money? Catbert: Every day it gets harder to appreciate you." gulp gulp gulp

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2012's comic on:


Tags #dogs & puppies, #service monkey, #walking and texting, #guide obstacle

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Dilbert: Hey, Alice, do you have... Dog: She can't hear you. She's walking and texting. That's it... Easy does it. I'll guide you around this obstacle. Dilbert: What did I just see? Wally: I'm saving up for a service monkey.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 1989's comic on:


Tags #aliens, #dog, #history

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Dogbert walks on a sidewalk. Someone behind him says, "Uh . . . Excuse me, earth dog." An alien says to Dogbert, "We have traveled from a distant planet to find out why earth dogs are forced to eat from dirty little bowls while humans use plates." Dogbert and the aliens sit on the grass. Dogbert explains, "Well, basically, it's political. It all began after the unsuccessful poodle rebellion in France, around 1723 . . ." One alien whispers to the other, "Better use a pencil . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1989's comic on:


Tags #dog, #friends, #intelligence

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I've decided to make some dog friends, but I don't even know what other dogs do when they get together." Dilbert replies, "Well, I suppose they would bark like idiots, run around in circles, and sniff every part of your body." Dogbert says, "I guess 'Scrabble' is out of the question."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 1989's comic on:


Tags #dog, #doghouse, #pet, #pet peeve

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Dilbert crouches in front of the fireplace stoking the fire. Dogbert says, "You know what really gripes my wagger?!" Dogbert continues, "Insensitive humans who say things like 'she's a real dog' or 'he's in the dog house' or 'it's a dog's life.'" Dilbert replies, "Sounds like a pet peeve."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 1989's comic on:


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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "What does a dog school have in common with the tv show 'Sixty Minutes?'" Dilbert turns around and answers, "They both have 'Hairy Reasoners.'" Dogbert says, "Uh . . . right." Dogbert walks away thinking, "And people wonder why dogs sometimes turn on their owners . . ."