Search Results for "Engineer Clothing"


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Share March 15, 2010's comic on:


Tags: present, software engineer, give, program, product, box, hand, receive, look, Features, criticize, depressed, first copy Transcript

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The Boss says, "As lead software engineer, I give you the first unit of our ten thousand copy production run." Dilbert says, "Wow! I wish we'd designed it with the features listed on the box. That would have been awesome." The Boss says, "What?" Dilbert says, "I'll put this with the other reminders of how my life could have been excellent."

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Share March 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags: new vice president of engineering, office, lack of experience, revenge, office politics, worry, sabotage, best engineer, 4g, skeptical, false information Transcript

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The New VP The Boss says, "Don't worry that I wanted your job, or that you have no experience in this field." The Boss says, "I won't try to sabotage you. In fact, I'll send you my best engineer to bring you up to speed." Vice President says, "So... it's called 4G because it's G-G-G-Good." Wally says, "Something like that."

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Share April 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags: nose job, health insurance, surgery, dog nose, veterinarian, lunch time, eat, engineer, function, rationalize Transcript

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Asok says, "I probably shouldn't have gone to a veterinarian for my nose job." Asok says, "But as an engineer, I value function over form, and the airflow is actually quite good." Dilbert says, "You might be rationalizing a little." Asok says, "I pity you with your inefficient nostrils."

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Share April 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags: nose job, snout, dog nose, health insurance, surgery, veterinarian, career, match looks, engineer, shake hands, art department Transcript

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The Boss says, "Our policy is to put people in careers that match their looks." Asok says, "I thought that was a coincidence." The Boss says, "Your botched nose job makes you too unconventional to be an engineer." Asok says, "No!" Woman says, "Welcome to the art department." Man says, "Man, I wish I was brave enough to get a snout."

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Share April 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags: deadline, late, engineer code, lightsaber, kill, annoy, flashlight, yell, close eyes, mouth open, office Transcript

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Dilbert says, "I cannot meet your arbitrary deadline, so the engineer's code requires me to kill myself with a lightsaber." Dilbert says, "But lightsabers haven't been invented yet. The best I can do is annoy myself with a flashlight." The Boss says, "Could you do this in the hall?" Dilbert says, "Annoyance before dishonor!"

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Share May 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags: computer, engineer, worst user interface, click, sell social security number, overhead view of cubicle Transcript

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Dilber thinks, "The world's greatest engineer prepares to do battle with the world's worst user interface." Dilbert thinks, "I hope that did something." Computer says, "Your social security number has been sold."

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Share May 31, 2010's comic on:


Tags: engineer, duel, angry, fight, send link, winner, arms up, cell phone Transcript

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How Engineers Duel Dilbert says, "Your data are weak." Engineer says, "Make your move!" Dilbert says, "I'm sending you a link!" Engineer says, "I'm sending you three links!" Dilbert says, "I don't have time for this." Engineer says, "Winner!"

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Share October 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags: coworker, human resources, sit on table, broke arm, bandage, alice, angry, engineer, math Transcript

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Coworker says, "Alice broke my arm. You need to do something about this." Catbert says, "Okay. I'll compare Alice's economic value to yours and decide who to fire." Coworker says, "No fair! She's an engineer!" Catbert says, "You got beat up by someone who is also better at math?"

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Share October 20, 2010's comic on:


Tags: sales, bonus, boss, raise target, engineer, connect cables, computers, time machine, marketing, liquor Transcript

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Ken says, "I hate sales. Can you cross-train me to be an engineer?" Dilbert says, "Absolutely. All you need is a time machine and a brain with twice as many folds as your current model." Ken says, "Maybe I could try marketing." Dilbert says, "That's just liqour and guessing."

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Share November 05, 2010's comic on:


Tags: meeting, system, network, job, should, engineer Transcript

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The Boss says, "Can you put the PX9 system on the R3 network?" Dilbert says, "Yes." Dilbert says, "But just to be clear. What an engineer can do is rarely what he should do." The Boss says, "What should you do?" Dilbert says, "Apparently, your job."