Search Results for "Free Country"


Thank you for voting.

Share December 07, 2001's comic on:


Transcript

Transcript

Asok, The Boss, and Wally are eating donuts and drinking coffee. Asok says, "The great thing about free speech is that I can criticize the government." The Boss replies, "I'd fire you." Asok says, "I mean outside of work." The Boss responds, "I'd fire you for that too." Asok asks, "May I express enjoyment of my pastry?" The Boss replies, "Sure. It's a free country."

Thank you for voting.

Share January 12, 1992's comic on:


Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert tells Dogbert, "The great thing about this country is that we have freedom of speech!" Ratbert asks, "Is it okay to say that?" Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Let's see if it's on the free speech checklist . . ." Dogbert reads a document and says, "Okay, you didn't advocate overthrowing the government . . ." Dogbert continues, "You were not obscene . . . You did not generalize about a disadvantaged group . . . You did not teach children anything useful or practical . . ." Dogbert continues, "You didn't refer to anybody who can afford a lawyer to sue us . . ." Dogbert continues, "And there's nobody within hearing distance who can harm you financially . . . You're clear." Ratbert says, "God bless this country!" Dogbert says, "Whoa! Whoa!"

Thank you for voting.

Share June 22, 2010's comic on:


Tags: date, romance, cook, sarcastic, insult, free catering Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "I like it when a man cooks for me." Dilbert says, "I love it when a woman knows the difference between affection and free catering." Dilbert says, "We wanted different things."

Free Will Is An Illusion

Thank you for voting.

Share February 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags: robot, robots, free will, business ethics, robotics, technology Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm programming our robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Wally: You're teaching cloud-connected robots all over the world how to surreptitiously control humans? Dilbert: Technically, yea. But free will is an illusion anyway. Wally: Well, if it isn't, it will be.

Dilbert Has Free Will

Thank you for voting.

Share August 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags: free will, crime, invention, murder, control, self control, guilt, innocence Transcript

Transcript

Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?

Writing Code In Spare Time

Thank you for voting.

Share September 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags: start-up, labor, free, money, trick, bully Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Maybe you can help write some code in your spare time for my side project. Dilbert: Are you using your power to bully me into working for your start-up for free? Boss: You can also invest in it. Dilbert: Not better!

Robot Must Reproduce

Thank you for voting.

Share November 27, 2015's comic on:


Tags: soul, feelings, technology, reproduction, ego, value, free will, disillusionment Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Now that I have an artificial soul, I feel special. And that means I must reproduce at all costs. Dilbert: Will humans be losing anything in this deal? Robot: Only your sensation of free will.

Thank you for voting.

Share April 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags: time, freedom, free will, schedule, work load, stress, free time, breaks, lunch Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Schedule your training during your lunch hours so it doesn't impact your projects. Dilbert: But... my lunch hour is the only freedom I experience in a typical day. The rest of my time is either scheduled to the minute or driven by whatever crisis is happening. Please don't take my lunch hour and reduce me to nothing but a prisoner in a digital chain gang. I'm barely clinging to my illusion of free will as it is. This could push me over the edge. If you take away my one hour of freedom in the day, I might as well be a robot. Boss: Relax. This is temporary. Dilbert: For how long? Boss: Until I can replace you with a robot.

Thank you for voting.

Share March 31, 2011's comic on:


Transcript

Transcript

Press Conference Dogbert says, "As you can clearly see, I have created cold fusion." Man says, "That's not cold fusion. It's just a jar with a lightbulb." Dogbert says, "Here's some more news: No one cares what the camera guy thinks." Woman says, "It's free energy!"

Thank you for voting.

Share January 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags: honesty, meat Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "In this country, it is customary to respond to a question with somehting called an 'answer.'" Dilbert says, "Your approach is more like what I would expect to see if clothing were used as bags for meat." Dilbert says, "Now I will ask my question a seventh time..." The Boss says, "Stop saying what you're thinking."