Search Results for "Free Soda"
Share February 03, 2002's comic on:
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Due to budget constraints, the company will no longer provide free soda." Dilbert asks, "What free soda? We never had free soda." The Boss replies, "Sure we did. It was in the refrigerator in the break room." The Boss continues, "Every day I'd go in there and get a refreshing beverage." The Boss continues, "The next morning, as if by magic, the soda would be replenished." Asok says, "I brought a soda to work every day for five years only to have it stolen from the refrigerator every time." Everyone stares at The Boss. The Boss replies, "Why didn't you just drink the free ones?" Asok clenches in anger.
Share February 04, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: I'm programming our robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Wally: You're teaching cloud-connected robots all over the world how to surreptitiously control humans? Dilbert: Technically, yea. But free will is an illusion anyway. Wally: Well, if it isn't, it will be.
Share August 20, 2015's comic on:
Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?
Share May 17, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert says to Ratbert, "I'll get us some sodas, Ratbert." Dogbert says as he walks away, "Feel free to gnaw on some high voltage wires, or whatever rats do, until I return." Dogbert returns with the cans of soda. Ratbert looks burned and smoke rises from his body. Ratbert says, "I don't know why we do that, but it sure works up a thirst."
Share June 22, 2010's comic on:
Share September 12, 2015's comic on:
Boss: Maybe you can help write some code in your spare time for my side project. Dilbert: Are you using your power to bully me into working for your start-up for free? Boss: You can also invest in it. Dilbert: Not better!
Share November 27, 2015's comic on:
Robot: Now that I have an artificial soul, I feel special. And that means I must reproduce at all costs. Dilbert: Will humans be losing anything in this deal? Robot: Only your sensation of free will.
Share April 24, 2016's comic on:
Boss: Schedule your training during your lunch hours so it doesn't impact your projects. Dilbert: But... my lunch hour is the only freedom I experience in a typical day. The rest of my time is either scheduled to the minute or driven by whatever crisis is happening. Please don't take my lunch hour and reduce me to nothing but a prisoner in a digital chain gang. I'm barely clinging to my illusion of free will as it is. This could push me over the edge. If you take away my one hour of freedom in the day, I might as well be a robot. Boss: Relax. This is temporary. Dilbert: For how long? Boss: Until I can replace you with a robot.
Share June 19, 2016's comic on:
Boss: The robot will be sitting in for me when I'm on vacation. Dilbert: You can't have a robot in charge of humans! Robot: I got this. I see you own a mobile phone. Dilbert: So? Robot: Then you are already a slave to a machine. Dilbert: No, I'm not! Phone: Ping! Robot: You can prove you have free will by not looking at that message. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! You're already better than our human boss!
Share April 03, 2017's comic on:
Alice: Am I allowed to date a co-worker? Catbert: That's against company policy. Alice: Is our robot considered a co-worker? Catbert: No. Alice: We're good to go. Robot: Man, I wish I had free will.