Search Results for "Free Soda"


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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Due to budget constraints, the company will no longer provide free soda." Dilbert asks, "What free soda? We never had free soda." The Boss replies, "Sure we did. It was in the refrigerator in the break room." The Boss continues, "Every day I'd go in there and get a refreshing beverage." The Boss continues, "The next morning, as if by magic, the soda would be replenished." Asok says, "I brought a soda to work every day for five years only to have it stolen from the refrigerator every time." Everyone stares at The Boss. The Boss replies, "Why didn't you just drink the free ones?" Asok clenches in anger.

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Share May 17, 1991's comic on:


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Dogbert says to Ratbert, "I'll get us some sodas, Ratbert." Dogbert says as he walks away, "Feel free to gnaw on some high voltage wires, or whatever rats do, until I return." Dogbert returns with the cans of soda. Ratbert looks burned and smoke rises from his body. Ratbert says, "I don't know why we do that, but it sure works up a thirst."

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Share June 22, 2010's comic on:


Tags: date, romance, cook, sarcastic, insult, free catering Transcript

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Woman says, "I like it when a man cooks for me." Dilbert says, "I love it when a woman knows the difference between affection and free catering." Dilbert says, "We wanted different things."

Free Will Is An Illusion

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Share February 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags: robot, robots, free will, business ethics, robotics, technology Transcript

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Dilbert: I'm programming our robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Wally: You're teaching cloud-connected robots all over the world how to surreptitiously control humans? Dilbert: Technically, yea. But free will is an illusion anyway. Wally: Well, if it isn't, it will be.

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Share March 31, 2011's comic on:


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Press Conference Dogbert says, "As you can clearly see, I have created cold fusion." Man says, "That's not cold fusion. It's just a jar with a lightbulb." Dogbert says, "Here's some more news: No one cares what the camera guy thinks." Woman says, "It's free energy!"

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Share September 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags: joking, questioning Transcript

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Boss: Are there any questions? Feel free to ask anything at all. Wally: Why do ghosts have clothes? Dilbert: If someone gives you a wedgie at the moment you die, will you have it for eternity?

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Share October 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags: commerce, mergers & acquisitions Transcript

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Boss: We're buying an entire company just to get their engineers. Dilbert: Are you aware that slavery is illegal and the engineers are free to find jobs at better companies? Boss: I sure hope you're wrong about that.

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Share November 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags: biology, chemistry Transcript

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Man: I learned the hard way that a lot of people who work in the biotech field are practical jokers. I thought my company was giving free flu shots. Stupid stem cells.

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Share November 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags: retail business, service business Transcript

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Dilbert: I want to buy your company's product but it's like pulling teeth with you. Man: Ha ha! I switched from commissions to a guaranteed salary. I'm free from the tyranny of customer service! Dilbert: This is less than ideal. Man: No paperwork for me! Woot! Woot!

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Share January 11, 2012's comic on:


Tags: conversation, embarrassment Transcript

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Boss: Good news: I signed up to receive a free leadership newsletter by email. I know it's good because it's written by some guy who used to have a job. Stop making everything I say sound stupid!