Search Results for "Programming Coding"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

How's the coding coming along? "No problem unless..." "...some moron tries to standardize on a new programming methodology in the middle of the project." "What if it's me instead of some moron guy?"

Wally And Agile Programming

Thank you for voting.
Wally And Agile Programming - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #avoid, #evasion, #acrobatics

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'll ask Wally to write this software. I haven't seen him since he took that agile programming class.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #computer software

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, did you finish coding the paywall for our website? Wally: I did something better. I wrote a script to delete any new content as soon as it's posted. At bonus time, keep in mind that you're the one who had the idea to eliminate revenue, and I'm the one who lowered hosting costs.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did I remember to tell you before you finished the coding that the user's specifications changed? Dilbert: AAAIII-YIIIII-YIIII-YIII!!! Boss: So, no-ish? Dilbert: BAM! BAM! BAM!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1992's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

An older man, Dilbert and Wally sit at the lunch table. The man says, "When I started programming, we didn't have any of these sissy 'icons' and 'windows.'" The man continues, "All we had were zeros and ones - and sometimes we didn't even have ones." The man continues, "I wrote an entire database program using only zeros." Dilbert asks, "You had zeros? We had to use the letter 'O.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 1997's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Wally, "I can't raise your salary level because you don't have ten years experience with 'Java' coding." Wally raises his hand and says, "Nobody has ten years experience with new technology! You're just being evil. Admit it." Catbert's head spins. Wally says, "And could you please shake your head back and forth instead of spinning it around?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2003's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, Dilbert, Asok, and Alice, "We're going to try something called Extreme Programming." The Boss continues, "First, pick a partner. The two of you will work at one computer for forty hours a week." Dilbert and Alice jump on Asok and cling to him. Wally says, "The new system is a minute old and I already hate everyone."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2003's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Extreme Programming. Dilbert says to a business associate, "I can't give you all of these features in the first version." Dilbert continues, "And each feature needs to have what we call a 'user story.'" The business associate responds, "Okay, here's a story: you give me all of my features or I'll ruin your life.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2003's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Extreme Programming. Wally and Dilbert are sitting at one computer. The Boss approaches and says, "The two of you will be a code-writing team." The Boss continues, "Studies prove that two programmers on one computer is the most productive arrangement." Dilbert types with a furrowed brow. Wally says, "Sometimes I can whistle through both nostrils. I've saved a fortune in harmonicas."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2003's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"We're outsourcing half of our programming work to Elbonia to take advantage of the time difference." "We'll hand off our requirements at the end of our work day and get back the finished code the next morning." "Once again, I have no idea what they want." "Let's pretend we died."