Search Results for "Two Monitors"


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Share November 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags: computer monitors, two, king, queen, evil grin, cubicle Transcript

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Dilbert says, "In the land of cubicles, the man with two monitors is king." Dilbert says, "I pity my uni-monitored subjects, but I cannot respect them." Meanwhile, in another corner of the kingdom? Alice says, "The king is dead. Long live the queen."

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Share April 17, 2008's comic on:


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Alice says, "You let Dilbert have two flat screen monitors in his cubicle." Alice says, I'm not the least bit envious, but I should point out that a worker with two monitors should be able to do twice as much work." Alice says, "Did you know there are some advantages to having only one monitor?"

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Share May 09, 2010's comic on:


Tags: lunch date, happy, pump fists, annoyed, inconvenient, two musketeers, face forward, plan ruined Transcript

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Dilbert says, "Amber, would you like to go to lunch with me?" Amber says, "Sure!" Dilbert thinks, "Yes!!! I'm in!" Amber says, "Do you mind if we bring Bob? I need to talk to him about his project." Dilbert says, "Well, that would be?" Amber says, "Hey, Bob. Meet us in the lobby." Amber says, "Look at us! We're like the two Musketeers, plus Dilbert." Dilbert says, "There were three musketeers." Amber says, "I'm pretty sure there were two." Amber says, "Wait... I just remembered I have a conference call at noon. You two go ahead without me." Bob says, "We're like the one musketeer." Dilbert says, "Just eat."

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Share October 16, 2007's comic on:


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"My pay is below market. Can I have a 20% raise?" "No, but I'll let you use two flat screen monitors in your cubicle so it feels like you're an evil genius in a secret lair." "Bu-Wa-HAHA!" "Who got a second monitor?"

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Share October 17, 2007's comic on:


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"Why does Dilbert get two computer monitors while I only get one?" "Well, according to researchers, it's because men tend to negotiate and women don't." "So, what happens now?" "If I had to guess, I'd say more complaining."

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Share March 28, 2011's comic on:


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Asok says, "To answer your question faster, I'll need to use the two halves of my brain like dual core processors." Asok says, "I'm only warning you because it might be disconcerting to watch." Woman says, "How bad could it be?" Asok says, "Wah-ah-geeee!" Woman says, "Maybe you can e-mail me your answer."

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Share May 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags: internet & world wide web, embarrassment Transcript

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Mordac: Ted, the I.S. group monitors every website you visit. Based on that information, we came up with a list of nicknames for you. My job got a lot more fun after we stopped doing the client satisfaction surveys. Mordac

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Share January 13, 2011's comic on:


Tags: anger, lust, engineers Transcript

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Tina says, "Did you hear that Dilbert and Alice are on the same Pon Farr cycle?" Carol says, "What?" Tina says, "Every seven years, engineers have an irresistible urge to mate. Their spawn would be the product of two engineers." There's a reason it rarely happens Dilbert says, "Your plan has unnecessary steps!" Alice says, "Your specifications are vague!"

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Share February 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags: dating, inventions Transcript

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Dilbert says, "It might look as if I'm in a dead-end job, but I'm developing an app in my spare time." Woman says, "Here's a lottery ticket. I just doubled your odds of success." Woman says, "I bought two for myself so I don't need to make an app."

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Share May 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags: couples, dating, mobile (cell) phones Transcript

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Woman: I used to compare all men to my ex-boyfriend. Now I compare all men to the entertainment standard of my smartphone. Dilbert: I only scored a two on the smartphone scale, but I was a solid five compared to someone named "lying Larry."