Search Results for "adult website"
Share October 10, 2004's comic on:
Our enterprise software comes in two flavors. The premium package boats a friendly user interface. The economy option does the same stuff but the interface is designed to ruin your life. we'll take the cheap one. I can tell by the ay you hold the mouse that you've never had a girlfriend. I'll send romantic invitations to al the pope on the email address list. Dont worry - i"lll us etc text that I would on a great adult website. when I said that you need to give a hundred percent I shut have been more specific.
Share May 03, 2011's comic on:
Mordac: Ted, the I.S. group monitors every website you visit. Based on that information, we came up with a list of nicknames for you. My job got a lot more fun after we stopped doing the client satisfaction surveys. Mordac
Share May 11, 2011's comic on:
Boss: Wally, did you finish coding the paywall for our website? Wally: I did something better. I wrote a script to delete any new content as soon as it's posted. At bonus time, keep in mind that you're the one who had the idea to eliminate revenue, and I'm the one who lowered hosting costs.
Share February 15, 2011's comic on:
The boss: How hard would it be to program our website to collect browser history from our visitors? Dilbert: well, first Id need to invent some sort of device that reverses my sense of right and wrong. The Boss: so...we we talking about a week ...or a month?
Share July 13, 2011's comic on:
Carol: You should build your own helicopter from a kit. I'll send you a link to the website. It's only dangerous for people who are too dumb to know how dumb they are. Boss: Is it as easy as it sounds? I have pliers. Carol: Yes!
Share January 23, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: I heard you flew to Vegas and played pai gow all weekend. Wally: Go away. Dilbert: That's a difficult game to learn after having a few adult beverages. Wally: Drop dead. Dilbert: How'd you do? Wally: Leave me alone!
Share April 22, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert says, "The great thing about adult males is that they've become immune to verbal abuse. Adult females may have something to do with it." Dogbert stands behind Dilbert and says, "Hey, you grotesque pile of petrified cat spittle . . ." Dilbert replies, "Hi, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "Is that your head, or has some kind of zucchini sprouted from your torso?" Dilbert asks, "Would you like to join me for some chocolate cake?" Dogbert says, "If brains were beans, you wouldn't have enough to make a bee burp." Dilbert replies, "Hey! We don't insult bees in this house!"
Share January 05, 1992's comic on:
Tags #Dogbert, #Entertainment, #thanks, #babysit, #doggie bert, #bret, #impressionable, #years, #innocent, #adult, #nonsense, #parents, #space, #aliens, #eat, #slaughter, #house, #kindergarten, #change, #probably
A man and woman say to Dogbert, "Thanks for agreeing to baby-sit, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "No sweat." A baby says, "Doggie-Bert!" Dogbert says, "Sit down, Bret." Dogbert and the infant sit on the floor. Dogbert says, "You're in your most innocent and impressionable years." Dogbert continues, "As an adult, it is my duty to fill your sponge-like brain with incredible nonsense for my own entertainment." Dogbert continues, "Your parents are really space aliens." The baby looks frightened. Dogbert continues, "They're just fattening you up so they can eat you!" Dogbert continues, "The slaughterhouse is a place they call kindergarten!!" The father hands Dogbert his money and says, "Thanks, Dogbert. Did you change him?" Dogbert replies, "Probably."
Share July 19, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park. Dilbert says, "Hey, that's Miss Mulput, my old fourth grade teacher." Dilbert says, "Hi, Miss Mulput! Do you remember me - Dilbert?" Miss Mulput replies, "No." Dilbert says, "You used to make me write on the board a thousand times 'I will not be homely in class.'" Miss Mulput replies, "Oh, yeah. That was a good one." Dilbert says, "At the time it seemed like pretty strict punishment for chewing gum." Dilbert continues, "But that experience made me what I am today . . ." Dilbert continues, "An angry adult, obsessed with thoughts of revenge." Dilbert says, "You know, Miss 'Molepit,' if my dog had your face I'd shave his hiney and make him walk backward." Dogbert says, "Leave me out of this."
Share June 02, 2000's comic on:
The Boss says to Ming, "Ming, everyone says our website is ugly." Ming replies, "Really? Every person on earth said that? Even Tibetan monks?" The Boss meekly answers, "Maybe it was just one person." Ming asked, "And you confused him with the entire planet?"