Search Results for "alice in charge"
Share March 21, 2011's comic on:
Share March 22, 2011's comic on:
Alice says, "I'm filling in for your boss this week, and I need twenty copies." Carol says, "That's not how it works. When he's out of the office I take a workstation vacation." Alice says, "I don't like being in charge." Carol says, "I hear it's overrated."
Share June 16, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: "Remember to charge your time to the appropriate project code." "Unless your project is unfunded, in which case the time codes won't work and you'll need to falsify your time report." Alice: "Are any of our projects funded?" The Boss: "This is the embarrassing part."
Share April 09, 2011's comic on:
Asok says, "I created a portal to a parallel universe. My success was possible because Alice killed our boss so we are all more productive." Alice says, "Step aside. The cops have been sniffing around and I need something from the other universe." Alice says, "Look on the bright side, Asok. Some other universe just got a lot more productive."
Share January 29, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Dilbert, listen carefully. I need you to... vendor... hardware... immediately. Dilbert: What? We have a bad connection. Boss: Field... the... grep... pony... budget. Dilbert: What? What? Boss: I have another call. Just ask Alice. Alice: How would I know what he wants? Leave me alone. Dilbert: I wonder how winners feel. Wally: I don't know. They never let me touch them.
Share February 21, 1996's comic on:
Alice says to Dilbert, "I heard that our software development work has been moved to the tiny nation of Elbonia." Dilbert responds, "Things can't get worse than that." The Boss approaches Dilbert and says, "Dilbert, you're in charge of integrating the Elbonian's software with our existing systems." Dilbert looks stunned. Dilbert says to Alice, "Okay, NOW it can't get any worse." The Boss adds, "You might want to get a tuberculosis vaccination."
Share October 14, 1996's comic on:
The Boss says, "Alice, I'm putting you in charge of developing our booth for the big trade show." The Boss says, "I picked you because the males in the department have disqualified themselves through a process of strategic incompetence." Alice asks Dilbert, "What is strategic incompetence?" Dilbert replies, "I had that written down someplace, but I lost it."
Share January 08, 1997's comic on:
Alice says, "Hey, Wally. I hear you're getting an Elbonian mail-order bride!" Alice says, "It's so sad and pathetic, yet so funny! I feel sorry for her already!" Alice laughs. Wally says, "And people ask why I gave up on local girls."
Share January 24, 1997's comic on:
The Boss says, "I put you in for a compliment, Alice." The Boss continues, "It's not automatic. The application must be approved by the executive review committee." Three members of the executive review committee sit at a conference table. A woman says, "I don't think so." A man replies, "We don't want them to think compliments are an entitlement."
Share February 06, 1997's comic on:
Alice sits across from Catbert's desk. She says, "I was so good at my job that I never needed to bother my boss, but he gave me a low rating because he didn't see me struggling." Catbert replies, "I must refer to my human resources binders to see how to deal with this." Catbert looks at a bookcase filled with binders. Most of the binders are labeled "Downsize" and a few are labeled "Hire Losers."