Search Results for "annoy emplyees"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 1995's comic on:


Tags #catbert the hr director, #invent illogical policies, #annoy emplyees, #diabolical dress code, #question sanity, #casual clothes, #wally insane

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Catbert is at his desk. He thinks, "I think I'll invent some illogical policies to annoy employees." Catbert continues thinking, "My diabolical new dress code will make them question their own sanity." Reading a document, Dilbert tells Wally, ". . . So, casual clothes DON'T lower our stock value . . . but only if worn on Fridays . . . unless somebody sees us . . . Got it?" Wally puts his hands on his head and replies, "I think I'm insane."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #bad, #mood, #ears, #match, #back, #annoy, #better

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Dogbert thinks, "I'm in a bad mood. I'll have to annoy Dilbert and see if it makes me feel better." Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert stands behind him and says, "I just noticed that your ears don't match from the back." Dilbert gasps and grabs his ears. Dogbert walks away thinking, "Ahh . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 1995's comic on:


Tags #more work, #same tiny raises, #clever shift, #management philosophy, #simple application, #annoy, #effect pay

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss who is seated at his desk. Dilbert says, "I accomplished twice as much as Wally this year, but we got exactly the same tiny raises." Dilbert says, "I'm wondering if this is a clever shift in management philosophy or a simple application of your ignorance?" The boss says, "You're starting to annoy me." Dilbert replies, "And that would affect my pay how?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 1996's comic on:


Tags #network administartor, #Dogbert, #good opportunity, #annoy idiots, #start tomorrow, #pager number

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "Why do you want a job as our network administrator, Mister Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "I don't like people. This is a good opportunity to annoy idiots such as yourself for my own entertainment." The Boss says, "Wow. You're perfect. Can you start tomorrow?" Dogbert replies, "Sure, as far as you know. I'll give you my pager number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1997's comic on:


Tags #goal is to be happy, #more successful, #annoy, #rat, #Dilbert, #lecture, #compare

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Ratbert and Dilbert are sitting on the couch. Ratbert says, "if the goal of all creatures is to be happy... and I'm happier than you are..." Ratbert continues, "We can conclude that I'm more successful than you are. Isn't that right?" Dilbert looks angry. Dilbert says, "You are REALLY starting to annoy me now." Ratbert says, "The gap widens. Yes!" and pumps his arm in victory.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #speakerphone, #annoy coworkers, #sociopth, #bit loud, #eating lunch, #delicious

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Ron is sitting at his desk. He thinks to himself, "If I use the speakerphone it will annoy my co-workers." He continues thinking, "Luckily for me, I'm a sociopath." Dilbert approaches from behind and says, "Two things: you're a bit loud... and you're eating my lunch." Ron responds, "It's delicious."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #late, #engineer code, #lightsaber, #kill, #annoy, #flashlight, #yell, #close eyes, #mouth open, #office

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Dilbert says, "I cannot meet your arbitrary deadline, so the engineer's code requires me to kill myself with a lightsaber." Dilbert says, "But lightsabers haven't been invented yet. The best I can do is annoy myself with a flashlight." The Boss says, "Could you do this in the hall?" Dilbert says, "Annoyance before dishonor!"

Dogbert The Product Designer

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Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #annoy people, #frustration, #packaging, #product design, #sadism, #software, #torture, #product code, #engineering

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Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: The main goal of product design is to annoy people for no reason. We'll start by making so much extra packaging that you need to rent a truck just to haul it away. Voice: We sell software. Man: I found the product code for downloading the software!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 1992's comic on:


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Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone and saying, "Swing your partner, dosey-do. Now clap your hands . . ." On the dance floor, people are square dancing. Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh, that's all the square dance moves I know . . . I'll bluff the rest." Dogbert says, "Slap your partner in the face, / Write bad checks all over the place, / Flirt with strangers, annoy your spouse, / Get a divorce and lose your house . . . Uh . . . dosey-do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1996's comic on:


Tags #such cubicle enviroment, #regular emplyees, #enjoy, #sharing cubicle, #co ops, #new co op, #lasted a day, #fit in

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The Boss walks down the hall with a new employee. The Boss says, "As a co-op employee, you can't expect the same lush cubicle environment that the regular employees enjoy." The Boss brings the man to a cubicle filled with people lying on top of each other. The Boss says, "You'll be sharing this cubicle with our other co-ops." Dilbert says to Alice, "I heard that the new co-op only lasted one day." Alice quips, "He didn't fit in."