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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2007's comic on:


Tags #automated sytem, #arbitrary deadline, #work smarter, #not harder, #sense of urgency, #get work done

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Dilbert: "I can't develop an automated testing system by the arbitrary deadline you set." The Boss: "Try working smarter, not harder, with a sense of urgency, and a bias for action." Dilbert: "Or maybe you could do something differently." The Boss: "I'm not the one who can't get his work done."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2010's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #computer, #work, #arbitrary, #sarcastic, #hearing distance, #scurry away, #fast, #end of day

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The Boss says, "And I'll need that by the end of day." Dilbert says, "I will gladly rush to meet your arbitrary deadline so my work can sit in your e-mail inbox until next week." The Boss says, "I'm still within hearing distance." Dilbert says, "Oops. You usually scurry away faster."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #late, #engineer code, #lightsaber, #kill, #annoy, #flashlight, #yell, #close eyes, #mouth open, #office

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Dilbert says, "I cannot meet your arbitrary deadline, so the engineer's code requires me to kill myself with a lightsaber." Dilbert says, "But lightsabers haven't been invented yet. The best I can do is annoy myself with a flashlight." The Boss says, "Could you do this in the hall?" Dilbert says, "Annoyance before dishonor!"

The Boss Had A Great Weekend

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The Boss Had A Great Weekend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #Fun, #weekend, #listening, #frustration, #fair, #fairness, #equality

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Boss: Wow, I had an amazing weekend at my mountain cabin. Wine, friends, food, and amazing views! Dilbert: I worked all weekend because you said you would fire me if I didn't get this done by your arbitrary deadline. Boss: You're a terrible listener.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1996's comic on:


Tags #arbitrary clerical deadline, #preserve integrity, #time reporting system, #time sheet, #annoying

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Dilbert hands a time sheet to a woman at a desk and says, "Here's my time sheet, including guesses for the next two days so I can meet your arbitrary clerical deadline." Dilbert continues, "If anything important comes up, I'll ignore it to preserve the integrity of the time-reporting system." The woman asks, "Are you finished annoying me yet?" Dilbert answers, "According to my time sheet I'll be here for another 14 minutes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #awake, #two days staright, #deadline, #all for nothing, #middel, #stack, #forget it

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Alice stands at Carol's desk. Alice hair is a mess and she holds a report. Alice says, "I stayed awake for two days straight to finish this R.F.Q. by the deadline." Alice says, "But it will all be for nothing if you don't send it out today." Alice hands the folder to Carol. Carol puts the folder in the middle of a huge pile of papers on her desk and says, "I'll put it in the middle of the stack so I won't forget."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #biggest customer, #missed deadline, #overnight mail, #evil and lazy, #bonus effort, #second guess

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The boss says, to Alice, "Alice, we lost our biggest customer because you missed the R.F.Q. deadline." Alice says, "That's because YOU said all overnight mail must go through your evil and lazy secretary." Alice says, "So you're probably going to apologize and give me a bonus for my effort." the boss says, "What's your second guess?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #talk now wally, #meet deadline, #poor planning, #nicknames for cofee, #java wave, #bean brew

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Wwally stands behind Alice's desk. Alice says, "I can't talk now, Wally. I'm rushing to meet my deadline." Wally says, "Sounds like poor planning. Why must I suffer?" Wally says, "Do you mind if I stay here and think up new nicknames for coffee? Java wava... bean brew.."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2000's comic on:


Tags #work for losers, #commits deadline, #winners, #respect me less

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "Work is for losers." Dogbert continues, "A winner says, 'That's on my list' and never commits to a deadline." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Wouldn't people respect me less?" Dogbert replies, "I don't see how."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2001's comic on:


Tags #English, #imcomprehensible, #weseleze, #sign something, #lawyer, #miss deadline, #frat brother

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Dilbert is meeting with the weasel nosed business associate. Dibert says, "Hey, we negotiated this deal in English but your contract is incomprehensible weaseleze!" The weasel covers his mouth sneakily. Dilbert continues, "My only choices are to sign something I don't understand or get my lawyer involved and miss my deadline!" Phil appears and puts his arm around the weasel. Dilbert says, "Ha! Now you're going to heck!" Phil responds, "Are you hassling my frat brother?"