Search Results for "attendance low"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 1995's comic on:


Tags #fourth day, #telecommuting, #clothes useless, #struck by question, #monkeys, #beards, #discuss issue, #attendance low, #around table, #introduce

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk at home. He is naked. He types in his daily log, "On my forth day of telecommuting I realize that clothes are totally unnecessary." Dilbert strokes his unshaven face and thinks, "Hey!" The log reads, "Suddenly I am struck by a question: why don't monkeys grow beards?" The log reads, "I call a meeting to discuss the issue but attendance is low." Dilbert sits at a conference table with Ratbert. Dilbert reads from a document, "Issue one: monkey beards." Ratbert says, "Let's go around the table and introduce ourselves."

Attendance Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Attendance Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #attendance, #Advice, #mentor, #mentoring

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Ideally, you want to find a job that requires more attendance than work. And then you want to concoct an endless string of "reasons" you can't come to work. The ultimate goal is getting paid for being nothing but a concept. Asok: I bask in your wisdom.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2011's comic on:


Tags #hold press conference, #introduce cold fusion, #breakthrough, #lightbulb, #wires plugged, #low opinion, #jar with frosted glass, #overkill

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I'm ready to hold a press conference to introduce my cold fusion breakthrough." Dilbert says, "All you did is put a lightbulb in a jar. I can see the wires plugged into the outlet." Dilbert says, "You have a low opinion of people." Dogbert says, "I considered using a jar with frosted glass, but it seemed like overkill."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #ignorance (knowledge), #low hanging fruit

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Low-hanging fruit! OW! Dilbert: See? Wally: Wow.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #losers, #meetings, #sales personnel, #sell to customers, #winners sell, #low quota levels, #ch ching dance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar Dogbert says, "Losers sell to customers." Dogbert says, "Winners sell the idea of low quota levels to their own bosses." Dogbert says, "Now everyone do the cha-ching dance!" Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #despair, #recessions, #unemployment, #fix your lips, #job satisfaction, #all time low

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Oh no! Employee job satisfaction is at an all-time low at the same time unemployment is high! Boss: Ha ha! Good one. Now it's my turn to try saying it as if I care! Oh no! Catbert: Ha ha! Fix your lips!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #public speaking, #let slide, #power point, #presentation, #bored, #sleeping audience, #low expectations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: And that's my last slide, any comments? Woman: You stole an hour of my life, something inside me died. I will never have another good day. Dilbert: I went in with low expectations. Wally: They can't hurt you if you're already dead.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2012's comic on:


Tags #low margin lines, #high risk, #start up, #lumbering inefficiencies, #buy in

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're abandoning our low-margin lines of business and going into a whole new field. Dilbert: So... we'll be like a high-risk start-up company burdened with lumbering inefficiencies and a high cost structure? Boss: Was anything you said the same as buy-in?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #attendance, #miracle, #species, #survived

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "I was rewarded today for perfect attendance at work." Dogbert asks, "What do you get?" Dilbert answers, "A day off with pay." Dogbert says, "It's a miracle your species has survived this long."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #trophy, #perfect, #attendance, #vicarouis, #dusting, #waxing, #head, #big head, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Look what I won, Dogbert! It's a trophy for perfect attendance!" Dilbert says, "Since YOU've never won a trophy, I thought you might get some vicarious joy by dusting and waxing MY trophy every day. Here." Dilbert walks away saying, "I hope that trophy doesn't go to my head." Dogbert throws the trophy at Dilbert's head.