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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2010's comic on:


Tags #customer, #meeting, #attractive woman, #shake hand, #handsome man, #translate

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The Boss says, "The customer is an attractive young woman. You'll need to bring a handsome man with you to translate." The Boss says, "The translator will repeat everything you say, word for word, but he'll say it more handsomely." Dilbert says, "Hi." Customer says, "What's he jabbering about?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2011's comic on:


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Demon says, "The government announced tax incentives for new capital investments." Dilbert says, "That's great. Now we can pursue marginally attractive opportunities with our overburdened staff." Demon says, "Is he always like this?" The Boss says, "Yes." Dilbert says, "I'll just divert resources from our top priorities."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #relations between the sexes, #contracts, #Women

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Man says, "The contract that you ignorantly signed gives them the right to harvest your organs." Man says, "Your best legal strategy is to get sworn affidavits from attractive women saying you have cooties." Woman says, "Heck yes, I'll sign it." Dilbert says, "I was hoping this would be harder."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2011's comic on:


Tags #mobile (cell) phones, #gadgets, #friendship

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Dilbert: I invented a shoulder holder for my phone. I felt bad keeping my best friend in my pocket. Jealousy in not attractive.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 1989's comic on:


Tags #dog, #girlfriend, #single

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Dilbert sits at his desk with paper and a calculator. Dilbert says, "Ah hah! Just as I suspected." Dilbert shows Dogbert a piece of paper and says, "Here it is: mathematical proof that attractive single women exist only in white Volkswagen Rabbits and aerobics classes." Dogbert asks, "How do you explain Vanna White?" Dilbert says as he walks away, "I wonder if Isaac Newton had a dog." Dogbert adds, "Or a girlfriend."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 1990's comic on:


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Dogbert lies on his pillow. Dilbert says, "Dogbert . . . Napping again?" Dilbert says, "Don't you know that many famous people functioned with very little sleep . . .? There were Jackie Gleason, Ben Franklin, Napoleon . . ." Dogbert says, "I like to think I'm more attractive than any of those guys."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to form a personality cult to honor me." Dogbert continues, "I'll take everybody's money and make them wear bathrobes with my picture on the back." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't it be cheaper to brand them and let them run naked?" Dogbert replies, "As a rule, we're not talking about attractive people here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #dating

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Dilbert: Studies show that smiling makes you more attractive. Wally: Is it working. Dilbert: I just became extra hetero.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 1991's comic on:


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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "As my dog, I think you should be doing more to help me meet attractive single women during our walks." Dilbert continues, "Try to be cuter, and look more pet-able." Dilbert continues, "And it's not funny when you do your impression of a frothing mad dog every time somebody walks by." Dogbert replies, "That's my John Sununu impression."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Drops of liquid fly from Wally's head. Wally thinks, "Being bald isn't so bad. With all this testosterone, men will fear me and women will desire me." Wally approaches a man and woman and says to the man, "Take a hike, fuzzy. She's mine now." The woman says, "I do find you strangely attractive." Wally points to the drops on his head and says, "Testosterone, you're helpless."