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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2013's comic on:


Tags #automobiles (cars), #restoring old cars, #less useful, #garbage, #cars

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Coworker: My hobby is restoring old cars. Dilbert: That strikes me as slightly less useful than Wally's hobby of doing absolutely nothing. Wally: Do you restore other kinds of garbage or just cars?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #automobile travel, #automobiles (cars), #weather, #zero degrees, #icy roads, #coffee, #traffic, #guradrail, #3 hours late

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Boss: You're just now getting here? Wally: It's zero degrees and the roads are all ice. I drank six cups of coffee before leaving the house and sat in traffic for two hours. Boss: You're three hours late. Wally: I spent the last hour stuck to a guardrail.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #cars, #car-phonebooth, #natural, #solution, #coins, #inventor

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "It's NOT a stupid idea." Dilbert explains, "You see, people who don't own cars are missing out on the prestige of using car phones." Dilbert has turned a phone booth on its side and added wheels, a steering wheel and a drivers seat. Dilbert continues, "The car-phonebooth is a natural solution . . . Granted, it uses a lot of coins." Dogbert walks away.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 1993's comic on:


Tags #cars, #clean, #letters, #express, #outrage, #editor, #Funny, #pages, #sarcasm, #children, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #time

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The caption says, "Their cars are always clean." A man polishes his car with a cloth. The caption says, "They write letters to express their outrage." A man sits at a table with an open newspaper next to him. The man writes, "Dear Editor, The funny pages is no place for sarcasm! Think about the CHILDREN!" The caption says, "They read the same book more than once." Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and laughing. Dogbert says, "They are the people with way too much time on their hands."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #commercial, #show company cars, #avoid pedestrians, #message, #we care, #sell bloopers, #dick clark

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"Dogbert's Ad Agency" "The commercial will show company cars braking hard to avoid pedestrians." "The message is, 'we care about people we don't even know!'" "Was it dangerous to film this?" "We'll sell the bloopers to Dick Clark." "Thud"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #embassy, #nutty, #radical, #cars, #laws, #automatic, #direction, #politicians, #trust, #question, #insulted

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Dogbert sits across from a man in a strange robe and hat. The man asks, "Why have you come to the embassy of the nutty radical country of Pingo-Pongo?" Dogbert replies, "I want a job as a diplomat." The man asks, "Why?" Dogbert replies, "I'm trying to get in on the 'diplomatic immunity' scam." Dogbert throws his head back and cries, "I want to drive cars over people's lawns . . . I want to fire automatic weapons in any direction!!!" Dogbert laughs wickedly and shouts, "I want to throw Jello at politicians!" The man asks, "How do we know we could trust you?" Dogbert replies, "Sir! I am insulted by your question!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #twitch, #feet, #sleep, #dreaming, #chasing, #cars, #saint, #schedule, #lackey, #pushing, #whiney, #ugly, #people, #catholic, #church

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Dilbert watches Dogbert sleeping on the hassock. He thinks, "Why do dogs twitch their feet when they sleep?" Dilbert thinks, "It's so cute. They must be dreaming about chasing cars." In Dogbert's dream, he stands on a throne and says, "Ha ha! I am Saint Dogbert! Line up to kiss my feet, you knaves!" Saint Dogbert asks Dilbert, "What's on my schedule today, lackey?" Dilbert looks at the schedule and says, "You'll be pushing whiney, ugly people into mud at nine." Dilbert continues, "Then, you'll tease cats about their grooming methods until ten." Dogbert says, "Good, good." Dilbert says, "Then you'll raise taxes, go to lunch, and take the rest of the day off." Dogbert wakes up and thinks, "Reality: what a gyp."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 1999's comic on:


Tags #audit, #non conforming documents, #defeat prurpose, #voluntary audit, #torch cars

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The boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at the conference table. The boss says, "Our annnual ISO 9000 audit is next week." The boss says, "We can pass the audit if we put all our non-conforming documents in the trucks of our cars." Wally says, "Doesn't that defeat the purpose of a voluntary audit?" The boss says, "And then torch the cars."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2002's comic on:


Tags #email, #employees, #leave too early, #menacing pose, #more cars in lot, #own email, #parking lot, #business

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Dorie's Boss says to Dorie, "Dorie, send an e-mail: employees are leaving work too early." Dorie's Boss continues, "I was to see more cars in the parking lot after 6 p.m. otherwise, heads will roll!" Dorie responds, "You type your own e-mail." The Boss replies, "I can't do that AND do this menacing pose at the same time."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2007's comic on:


Tags #green consultant, #rm your suv, #hybrid cars, #stop using fuel, #save earth, #other people sacrifice

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Dogbert the green consultant Dogbert: "Try ramming your SUV into hybrid cars." "That should stop them from using fuel altogether." "You can't save the Earth unless you're willing to make other people sacrifice." CEO: "I'm in."