Search Results for "block oxygen"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #converstaion, #Dilbert, #faking through, #velcro works, #block oxygen, #brain

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: "He's explaining something that I already understand. I've got to stop him." Dilbert: "Blah blah blah." Ted: "I'll try vigorous nodding and agreeing, plus closed body language." Dilbert: "Blah blah blah." "Right right right." Dilbert: "And have I ever told you how 'velcro' works?" TED: "Maybe if I block the oxygen to my brain..."

Oxygen Not In The Budget

Thank you for voting.
Oxygen Not In The Budget - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2016's comic on:


Tags #space flight, #astronaut, #oxygen, #breathing, #leadership, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm happy to announce that we launched our company's spaceship to Mars. We only had enough in the budget to give them oxygen for three-quarters of the trip. So I told them to breathe smarter, not harder. It's called leadership.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #copyright & trademark, #inventions, #competitor suing, #albanian court, #design trademark, #block manufacturing, #shaped like rectangle, #design shapes, #irregular mole

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Our competitor is suing us in an Elbonian court for some sort of design trademark violation. They're trying to block us from manufacturing anything shaped like a rectangle. Boss: What design shapes are available? Man: Only one, assuming "irregular mole" is a shape.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #3 hour meeting, #doesn't apply, #highly paid contractor, #oxygen to brains, #multimedia developer

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: It looks like you're off to a three-hour staff meeting that doesn't apply to me. Ted: Im glad Im a highly paid contractor, I'll be increasing my skills while you fight to get oxygen to your brains. THREE HOURS LATER TED: I became a multimedia developer, How was your day?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 1996's comic on:


Tags #network adminsitrator, #routers, #block employees, #websites, #program routers, #useless activities, #business plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a desk. The Boss asks, "Can you program the routers to block employees from all fun Web sites?" Dogbert replies, "Why stop there? I can program the routers to block ALL useless activities." The Boss asks, "How long will that take?" Dogbert unplugs a cable and says, "Done. I've seen your business plan."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 1998's comic on:


Tags #useful skills, #raising issues, #salespeople, #new prodcut, #have a meeting, #oxygen being wasted

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted stands behind Dilbert. Dilbert sits at his computer. Ted says, "I have no useful skills or knowledge. I compensate by 'raising issues'." Ted announces, "Our salespeople haven't been trained for the new product!!" Ted says, "Someone should have a meeting about that." Dilbert says, "Wow, I can actually hear oxygen being wasted."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 1998's comic on:


Tags #cubicle, #land on moon, #temperature, #oxygen levels, #space program, #hoax, #nasa hiding, #love engineers

View Transcript

Transcript

The cubicle lands on the moon. Dilbert says, "We're the first cubicle to land on the moon." Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the surface of the moon. Dilbert says, "The temperature and oxygen levels are fine. Apparently the space program is a hoax." Dogbert says, "NASA must be hiding something here." Two women appear. The women hold wine glasses and wear dresses. The brunette says, "Hi. We're the women who love engineers." The blond has a heart above her head. Dilbert's hair and tie stick straight up. Dilbert's eyebrows raise. Dobert's ear's fly up.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 1998's comic on:


Tags #strip on nose, #oxygen to brain, #interesting conversationalist, #not optimistic, #anti snoring device

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dogbert says, "Put this strip on your nose to get more oxygen to your brain." Dogbert hands Dilbert a strip. Dilbert puts the strip on his nose. Dogbert says, "I'm hoping it will make you a more interesting conversationalist." Dilbert says, "How 'bout that?" The strip is hanging off the end of Dilbert's nose. Dogbert says, "I'm no longer optimistic."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2004's comic on:


Tags #viosnary executives, #block of wood, #foresee good numbers, #new glasses

View Transcript

Transcript

"Optometrist for Visionary Executives" "Look through this block of wood." "Is this better or worse?" "Better." "I forsee forty quarters of growth." "Hey, new glasses?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new product, #front, #meeting, #block of wood, #cell phone, #network, #cool, #business, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Our new product is a useless block of wood." Dogbert says, "When customers complain that it won't make phone calls, we'll blame the network." The Boss says, "Who would want? whoa, this is cool." Dogbert says, "You'd be lucky to have one."