Search Results for "board meeting"
Share March 20, 2015's comic on:
Asok: Is it wise to ride your coffee intern to a board meeting? Wally: Pipe down, coffee intern. If you were capable of thinking like a leader, you would be a VP too. Dilbert: Demoted already? Wally: The board does not like new ideas.
Share January 20, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become an inside trader of stocks." Dilbert replies, "Inside trading is illegal. Besides, where will you get your information?" Dogbert raises his ears and says, "Shhh . . . I hear a board meeting starting San Francisco."
Share October 11, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert and several executives sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "Thank you all for coming to this emergency board meeting." Dogbert continues, "As you know, all promotions to senior management are based on hair. I think we all agree this is the best system." Dogbert lifts the president's toupee with a pointer and continues, "But have you noticed that I have a rich lustrous coat, whereas our current president gets a little outside help?"
Share March 22, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert reclines in his chair and hums. Alice asks him, "Why aren't you slaving away, preparing for the executive review board meeting?" Dilbert replies, "I have the male 'work avoidance chromosome.' I can detect unnecessary work, thereby avoiding it." Alice says angrily, "We ALL have to be ready to present something!" Wally peers over the cubicle wall and say, "Could you hold it down? I'm trying to sleep."
Share April 08, 1996's comic on:
The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The executive review board meeting is canceled. I hope you didn't work too hard preparing for it." Alice clenches her teeth and thinks, "Must . . . control fist . . . of . . . death . . ." Wally says, "Unlike Alice, I saw it coming and did no work whatsoever." Alice punches Wally and his head collapses into his shirt. She asks, "Did you see THAT coming, Nostradamus?" Dilbert asks, "What does this do to headcount?"
Share November 12, 2005's comic on:
Board Meeting "I recommend outsourcing your CEO's job and saving the company $26 million per year." "For $4 per year you can hire an Elbonian CEO who is just as good as this guy." "Now do you understand why you should have renewed my consulting contract?"
Share February 02, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "Our CEO wants to share his good fortune with all employees." The Boss says, "He invites all of you to visit his winery and buy his non-award-winning wine at nearly retail prices." The Boss says, "He asks that you not park your helicopters near his human chess board because it frightens the dwarves."
Share June 20, 2015's comic on:
Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.
Share October 29, 2016's comic on:
Share March 31, 2017's comic on:
Boss: I need you to attend a meeting in my place. I agreed to the meeting before I realized it would be a total waste of time. Dilbert: This could not be worse. Boss: I might have volunteered to write up the meeting notes.