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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gloating, #rich people, #leadership experts, #brag about weath, #comforatble

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Boss: Leadership experts say I should never brag about my wealth. Let's just say I'm "comfortable." So very, very comfortable. Alice: Yeah, this isn't working.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2012's comic on:


Tags #contributions, #hours of work, #man of ideas, #ego, #glaot, #brag, #meeting

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Wally: My contributions can't be measured by the number of hours I work. I'm a man of ideas. One great idea is worth more than all of you put together. Boss: Fine. Let's hear your great idea. Wally: You just did.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2012's comic on:


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Coworker: My daughter is training for the Olympics. My son is going to Harvard. Dilbert: I have no spawn of my own, so I claim the right to name a proxy to brag on my behalf. Topper, I need you. Topper: OF course you do. My daughter discovered the Higgs boson particle using nothing but licorice and a flashlight. My son inhales carbon dioxide and exhales endangered species while playing in the National Football League. Coworker: This isn't fair! You can't just make up stuff! Topper: According to the president of the International Society of Boasters, fabrications are acceptable. Coworker: I'd like to talk to that guy. Topper: You're looking at him. Dilbert: I win.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 1994's comic on:


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"This is Dogbert's Headhunting Service." "I've got a job that pays a hundred thousand per year and requires no skill whatsoever." "No, I didn't say it's available. I called to brag about my own job."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2009's comic on:


Tags #cold, #temperature, #rudeness, #sarcasm

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Carol says, "It's only 68 degrees in here. Why aren't you cold?" Wally says, "I'm a mammal, but I don't like to brag about it." Carol says, "What's that supposed to mean?" Wally says, "Stop pinging me with your sonar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #employee, #walk, #coffee cup, #applicant, #phone, #ring, #wake up, #brag

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The Boss says, "Interview this applicant and tell me if he's right for our company." Wally says, "Tim, we don't set the bar as high as we used to."<BRWally says, "In our golden days, we insisted on employees who could work tirelessly through the night." Wally says, "As business slowed, we were happy with anyone who put in eight hours a day." Wally says, "then our best people left." Wally says, "Now on cubicles are mostly used for napping." Wally says, "So my question is this: Would a ringing phone wak you up?" Tim says, "Probably." Wally says, "He comes across as a braggart."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2013's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #wages

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Boss: Your bonuses this year will be based on the usual formula. 50% is based on pure luck. And 50% is based on the performance of people you have never met. This year, the luck factor was good. Our industry experienced huge consumer demand. Unfortunately, people who you have never met did a bad job of marketing and sales are terrible. And for that, you engineers must be punished. No bonuses for you. Luckily for me, my bonus is based on how well I can convince you idiots to work hard while getting no bonuses. I don't like to brag, but I'm fairly sure I'm nailing it.

Topper Never Sleeps

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Topper Never Sleeps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #sleep, #tired, #brag, #bragging, #braggart, #absurd, #competition, #top, #embellish, #embellishment, #exaggeration

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Topper. Dilbert: I only slept four hours last night. Topper: That's nothing. I was born awake and decided to stay that way. Dilbert: Lack of sleep is making me a little loopy. Topper: I have a human head collection.

Wally Is Born For The Job

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Wally Is Born For The Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #legacy, #system, #laziness, #perfect job, #goals, #ambition

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Boss: I need to set some goals for you. Wally: My job is to maintain the legacy system. My only goal is to avoid accidentally upgrading it. Boss: And how's that going? Wally: I don't like to brag, but I was born for this job.

Asok Should Not Brag

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Asok Should Not Brag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #design, #bragging, #credit, #attention

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Asok: I did a great job on this design. Wally: Whoa! Whoa! No one likes a braggart. Keep your boasting to yourself. Boss: Didn't Asok help you with this design? Wally: Asok? Never heard of him.