Search Results for "brain scan"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner

Thank you for voting.
Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #replication, #technology, #clone, #playing god, #doppelganger

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My invention can scan the human brain and duplicate it in software. I combined that technology with a 3-D printer that makes human body parts. Boss: What does it all do? Replicant: He's getting to the good part.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2010's comic on:


Tags #death ray, #invention, #brain scan, #popcorn, #microwave, #worry, #eyebrows, #north korea

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO CEO says, "We're getting a lot of interest in your death ray invention." Dilbert says, "It's not a death ray. It's a portable brain scanner with a popcorn microwave option?" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. That's a death ray." CEO says, "We have an RFQ from North Korea."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #coffee & tea, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Your brain scan shows tremendous management potential. The part of your brain that would normally control ethics is filled with some sort of warm, brown liquid. It appears that you speed-evolved part of your brain into a coffee reservoir. Wally: People think I don't have a plan.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2010's comic on:


Tags #lab coat, #invention, #scan, #brain, #predict, #buy, #kill, #suspicious, #microwave, #smoke out of ears, #rays

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My invention can scan a person's brain and predict his buying decisions." Dilbert says, "It says you plan to buy? a blunt object so you can kill me and claim credit for my invention." Dilbert says, "I anticipated that, which is why I included a feature to microwave the offending part of your brain." FERT!

Ted Has Fly Brain

Thank you for voting.
Ted Has Fly Brain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2016's comic on:


Tags #greeting card, #sick, #brain damage, #marketing, #advertising, #mindless

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Sign this card for Ted. A fly went up his nose and laid eggs in his brain. Dilbert: Is he coming back to work? Carol: We think he'll live out his days in Marketing.

Brain Escapes Ear Holes

Thank you for voting.
Brain Escapes Ear Holes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bored, #boredom, #brain, #menial

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to research this. Dilbert: Uh-oh. This task is so boring that I"m worried my brain will try to escape out of my ear holes. Boss: That's not a real thing, is it? Dilbert: Ow! It's starting!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 1989's comic on:


Tags #power, #brain, #mind

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on his pillow staring at a ball. Dogbert says, "Sometimes I think the brain holds great powers waiting to be discovered." Dogbert continues, "It's almost as if I can make this ball levitate with pure mind power." Dogbert concentrates on the ball. Dogbert says, "Dang. Nothing." Behind Dogbert, Dilbert's chair rises into the air and dumps him onto the floor.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 1989's comic on:


Tags #dog, #brain

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert enter the laboratory. Dilbert says, "I've decided we should operate along more classic lines, like Dr. Frankenstein's lab." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a stool and asks, "You know what that makes you?" Dogbert replies, "I've got a hunch . . ." Dilbert says, "Let's practice . . ." Dilbert says, "Dogbert, fetch me a brain!" Dogbert asks, "Like your present model, or one that works?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2010's comic on:


Tags #scan, #document, #ask, #favor, #important, #scanner malfunction, #hope, #empty candy jar, #hopeless

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Can you scan this document for me?" Carol says, "Is it important?" Carol says, "If it isn't important, you shouldn't bother me. If it is, the scanner will malfunction." Dilbert says, "Is there no room for hope?" Carol says, "I keep mine in this empty candy jar."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2010's comic on:


Tags #feedback, #website design, #computer, #eyes wide, #psychopath, #photo wall, #toe fungus, #despair, #yell, #mouth open, #scared, #pain, #satan, #licking, #brain, #tone down, #hair stand up

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I need your honest feedback on our new website design." Asok says, "The layout looks like a psychopath's photo wall. The colors remind me of toe fungus and despair." Tina says, "I'll say, 'needs work.'" Asok says, "It feels like Satan is licking my brain!"