Search Results for "breaks"
Share January 02, 2012's comic on:
Man: Your lobbyist said I could have a lucrative job here someday if I support tax breaks for your company. I have offers from other bribers, so I thought I'd stop by and see how this dump compares. Dilbert: Suddenly I know too much. Man: Fetch me some coffee and I'll make your birthday a holiday.
Share June 16, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dilbert says, "One more clever move and I will have written the perfect computer program." Dilbert throws his arms over his head and yells, "Yes!" Dogbert yells, "Spike it in the end zone!" Dilbert throws his computer on the ground and breaks it. Dogbert says, "Another failure of the sports metaphor."
Share September 03, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert stands on the chair armrest and tells Dilbert, "I got hired as the network administrator for your company." Dogbert says, "Here's my card. You can only reach me by e-mail or by pager." Dogbert continues, "When the network breaks, no e-mail. I'll just sit around and wag my tail." Dilbert looks at the business card and says, "Your pager number has a tilde . . . How do I dial a tilde?"
Share November 18, 1996's comic on:
Catbert stands on a monitor and says, "Are you stressed out, Wally? I have a solution." Catbert continues, "Start smoking. That way you'll have frequent company-sanctioned breaks throughout the day." Wally asks, "This is your strategy for downsizing, isn't it?" Catbert offers a pack of cigarettes to Wally and says, "Try it, you big wuss."
Share November 19, 1996's comic on:
Wally tells Alice, "I've decided to start smoking. I'll be able to take more breaks that way." Wally continues, "And frankly, I'm hoping it will add an interesting edge to my personality and help me socially." Alice reaches into a box. Wally continues, "Not that I need any help." Alice says, "I can only pray that your personal magnetism won't erase my hard drive."
Share November 20, 1996's comic on:
Wally approaches a man and a woman who are smoking. He says, "Here's my first cigarette ever. I'm looking forward to the many smoking breaks I'm entitled to." Wally says, "I'll probably see you three times a day, just smoking and chatting and enjoying the fresh air!" Wally says, "I assume you light the color-coded end, right?" The man and woman drop their cigarettes and say, "I quit."
Share February 28, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits in a meeting. The speaker says, "Let's take a ten-minute break." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert thinks, "I've got to use the restroom and get back before all the mingle groups have solidified." Dilbert stands in the bathroom and thinks, "Uh no, it's an air dryer, an unexpected delay!" Dilbert returns to the room and thinks, "I'm too late. All the minglers have formed impenetrable groups." Dilbert thinks, "I'll pretend to study the agenda so it looks like I have a reason to be alone." Dilbert thinks, "Everybody knows it doesn't take this long to read an agenda. Now what do I do??" Beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's forehead and he tugs on his tie. He thinks, "I've got to stand here alone, totally non-mingled, for five more minutes." Dilbert arrives at home looking disheveled. Dogbert asks, "Tough day at work?" Dilbert replies, "Just the breaks."
Share July 13, 2006's comic on:
Dogbert the Lobbyist "For a million dollars I can have the government include your industrial waste in the recommended food pyramid." "For another million I'll have Congress authorize huge tax breaks for soulless, Blackberry-using weasels with coffee breath." "I just want to hug you!" "That's another million."
Share May 08, 2007's comic on:
"Why don't you answer my e-mails? Do I need to complain to your boss?" "Your messages have too many topics and no paragraph breaks. They are a violation of all that is good and right about e-mail." snork "'Blah, blah, blah, Dilbert is rude...' Geez, I can't even read this mess." click delete