Search Results for "brutal truth"
Share March 18, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert is at a party. A woman says, "And then I said, "How am I supposed to do all that?" then I glared at her." Dilbert says, "Do you have that woman's phone number? She sounds nicer than you." Dilbert walks and thinks, "I don't see why it's MY fault she can't tell a decent story."
Share July 18, 2012's comic on:
Dogbert: Do you respect those who speak truth to power? CEO: I don't know what that means. Dogbert: In this case it means you're ignorant, bald and overpaid. Do you respect me, or should I keep going?
Share October 09, 1994's comic on:
"I brought Dilbert, in case you have any technical questions about our product." "Heh-heh...engineers don't know how to lie. The truth will be mine." "Uh-oh." "Ted said your product is bug-free. Is that true Dilbert?" "Well, yes, that's true." "I mean, basically true. Technicaly true. Sort of." "No-o-o!! It's a lie! All the bugs were reclassified as security features just to make the ship date!!" "And we both think you could be attractive if you'd just do SOMETHING with your hair." "Why did I bring you along?" "The evidence suggests that you're stupid."
Share June 09, 1999's comic on:
The boss stands behind Dilbert's cubicle. The boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to testify in the lawsuit against our company." The boss says, "Tell the truth, but do it in your usual engineering way so that no one understands you." Dilbert says, "Actually, I've decidedd to be a whistle-blower." The boss says, "Whatever. It'll all sound the same!"
Share March 08, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Wally, you have to see this vendor." Wally asks, "Why?" Dilbert says, "I think he's telling the truth." Wally exclaims, "No way!" Dilbert and Wally watch the vendor talking to Asok the Intern. The vendor says to Asok, "When the focus groups saw this product they were afraid to eat our sandwiches."
Share June 28, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert is at home. He says to Dogbert, "My company lost a frooglepoopillion dollars. I'm embarrassed to tell people where I work." Dogbert responds, "Never be afraid to tell the truth about yourself." Dilbert asks, "Because honesty is the best policy?" Dogbert replies, "Because no one pays any attention to what you say."
Share January 08, 2007's comic on:
Share November 06, 2012's comic on:
Man: There's nothing you can do about your company's long slide toward irrelevance. But if you redesign your logo and produce a tablet computer that no one buys, at least it will look like you're trying. CEO: Who are you? Man: I'm the ugly truth. Most people just ignore me.
Share November 07, 2012's comic on:
The Ugly Truth Visits Man: Your employees hate your carb-fattened guts. They hope you get run over by a clown car because it will make your demise extra funny. Boss: I hear mumbling but no on is there! Man: It's weird for me too.
Share March 07, 2013's comic on:
Dogbert: Honesty is the best policy... whenever you think lying won't work. Otherwise, lying is awesome. It's like a freakin' superpower! Ratbert: Why am I here? Dogbert: I speak truth to the powerless.