Search Results for "budget cut"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #boss, #budget cut, #joke, #bleak, #budget cuts, #undead, #feast on flesh, #don't like light

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I realize things look bleak after the budget cuts. But remember it's always the darkest before the undead feast on your flesh. Because they don't like light. Dilbert: WE GET IT!!!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2008's comic on:


Tags #budget cut, #health, #bleak, #public, #poorly made prodcuts, #elevant, #organs, #still healthy, #black market

View Transcript

Transcript

After Budget cuts The boss: It might seem bleak now, but things will turn around... As soon as the public starts loving poorly made products that are relevant to a bygone era. In the meantime, who has organs that are still healthy enough to sell on the black market?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 1994's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I just had my annual meeting with our Vice President." "We decided to combine your project with Project 'Bigfoot' because they're basically the same." "They're not the same! It only seems like it to you because you don't understand either project!" "Oh, well. It's too late to do anything. I told him they were the same." "Just call him and say you were wrong." "I can see why you're not in management." "The logical solution is to wait for the next budget cut and eliminate your project, thus solving two problems." "There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1999's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

The boss introduces a new man to Dilbert. The boss says, "Dilbert, meet our new sacrifial lamb." The boss says, "I filled our headcount vacancy so we have someone to dump after the next budget cut." The lamb says, "Should we shake hands?" The boss says, "I don't want to get attached."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #budget, #cut backs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Until the company returns to profitability I will only fly coach." Dogbert says, "I'll book three coach seats in a row so I can stretch out." Dogbert says, "One of you will be a Sherpa for my bedding." Dogbert says, "I'll bring my own air marshal to punch anyone who talks while I'm napping." Dogbert says, "And a videographer so I can see the playback when I wake up."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2008's comic on:


Tags #boss, #budget, #clothes, #drastic budget cuts, #dramatic, #how much cut, #buzzards seem selective

View Transcript

Transcript

Finance troll: We need to make drastic budget cuts. The boss: Let's not get all dramatic. Just tell me how much to cut and I'll make it happen. Dilbert: On the plus side,, the buzzards seem selective.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2012's comic on:


Tags #money, #budget, #last year objectives, #huge loss, #bottomline, #punish siuccess, #startegy, #management

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We've been asked to cut our budget by 30%. Dilbert: That doesn't make sense. We met all of our objectives last year. Boss: A different part of our company had a huge loss. Dilbert: Shouldn't you cut their budget, not ours? Boss: Their budget isn't big enough to make a difference to the bottom line. Dilbert: So our strategy is to punish success, and reward failure? Boss: Just do your job and leave the strategy to management. Dilbert: Hypothetically, if I do my job poorly, would that be good or bad for me?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #antique thing, #defective prodcuts, #free up funds, #larger volume, #longer test, #sales force, #quality control budget

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I cut the quality control budget to free up funds to increase our sales force." Dilbert says, "So your strategy is to sell a larger volume of defective products?" The Boss says, "The quality will be fine. The tests will just take longer." Dilbert says, "So...It's an antique thing?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #entire budget, #empire building, #work on trendy things, #vote to cut budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Filling in for the Pointy-Haired Boss A man says, "Does your department need its entire budget this year?" Dilbert says, "no, we'll waste most of it on empire building and appearing to work on trendy things." The man says, "All in favor of cutting this guy's budget in half?" Dilbert says, "I call do-over! Do-over!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #criticism, #economy, #budget, #anger

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "The economy is circling the drain. I need each of you to take a 10% cut in pay." Asok the intern says, "I don't have much cushion in my budget. Yesterday I boiled my shoelaces for dinner." The boss says, "Remind me not to accept any dinner invitations to your house." Asok the intern says, "Don't worry!"