Search Results for "build phones"
Share June 29, 2011's comic on:
Carol: I need a new phone. Which one do you recommend? Dilbert: Do you want to be angry about your dropped calls or angry about your poor battery life? Don't hate the messenger. Carol: People similar to you build phones.
Share February 03, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert says, "If we build our software with no bugs, we can make a 10% return on our investment." Dilbert says, "But if we do a poor job, we can make a 40% return by selling upgrades and service." Dilbert says, "But don't worry. We only have the budget for a poor job." CEO says, "I can't remember if we're cheap or smart." Boss says, "Phew!"
Share August 03, 2011's comic on:
Asok: Are you getting a lot done on the grandpa box? Dilbert: The what? Asok: The people in my generation do our work on our phones and tablets. Dilbert: I also have a laptop. Asok: I'll text the nineties and let them know.
Share January 28, 2012's comic on:
Share May 25, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert sitting on couch while holding "TECH" magazine. Dogbert stands on arm of couch and thinks, "I will now test my theory that people like to be told what to do." Dogbert yells, "QUIT YOUR JOB AND BUILD ME A PYRAMID, YOU HOMELY DOLT!!!" Dilbert responds, "I liked it until the dolt part." Dogbert says, "I've noticed that honesty doesn't mix well with anything."
Share January 18, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert, Wally and the boss are in a meeting. Wally, still with his ponytail, says, "I used company resources to build my own internet company." Wally says, "Apparently my low job satisfaction bred disloyalty, which drifted into outright theft." Wally says, "Sabotage can't be far away."
Share February 14, 2000's comic on:
The Boss and Asok the Intern are sitting at a table. The Boss informs Asok: "The new policy says you must drive carefully while using cell phones." Asok says: "This policy is just in time. I had planned to drive into a tree." Asok leans toward the Boss and asks: "Is there anything there about handling poisonous snakes?"
Share June 22, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert looks at a menu in a restaurant and says, "Bring me $35 worth of food, including your 15% tip." The waitress reaches for his menu and asks, "If I bring you a penne pasta, will you promise not to build a log cabin on your plate?" Dilbert replies, "I can't promise that." The waitress says, "Well then, we have a situation here."
Share December 13, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Creative Design. A man points to materials and says, "Each team has one hour to design and build a mock-up using these common materials." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: doesn't this sort of exercise usually get dominated by the worst team member?" The Boss responds, "Don't worry, we can just ignore Alice's suggestions." Alice clenches her teeth in anger.