Search Results for "building databse"
Share February 28, 1996's comic on:
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss asks, "You haven't heard what the problem is yet; how can you recommend building a database to solve it??" Wally says, "We always build a database." Dilbert says, "And we'll need coffee mugs for the project team." The Boss says, "The PROBLEM is that we have poor processes." Wally responds, "That could be the slogan on our mugs!"
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Share February 16, 2011's comic on:
The Boss says, "Tina, you'll be in charge of our move to the new building." Tina says, "That means you think my regular job is so unimportant that I won't be missed if I work on something else for a month." The Boss says, "If it makes you feel any better, this will take longer than a month."
Share November 03, 2011's comic on:
Asok: I live in an ugly apartment with two ugly roommates. Each workday I take an ugly bus to an ugly building and spend the entire day in my ugly cubicle. Dilbert: At least you get to eat lunch with us. Asok: I've said too much.
Share January 09, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert shuffles down the hallway thinking, "I can feel the static electricity building . . ." Dogbert shuffles back and forth and his fur begins to stand up. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I most certainly will NOT call you 'Thor, Dog of Thunder.'" Dogbert says, "Prepare to die."
Share December 27, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert stands at a woman's door and asks, "Are you Widow Johnson . . . Uh, I mean 'Missus' Johnson?" Dilbert says, "I'm afraid your husband was devoured by the automatic denture invention we were building." Dilbert continues, "Some day we'll look back at this and laugh." The woman looks shocked.
Share May 12, 1994's comic on:
"Ratbert the consultant" "It looks like you've all done your assignments for me." "Your input is so important that I'll have it put in a big binder in stored in the same building that your president works!" "And I'll put in a good word for you when I meet with your boss later today." "Wink, thumbs up" "How about two good words?"
Share December 30, 1994's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "I've decided that our next team-building exercise will be a paintball tournament." Alice, Wally and Dilbert think, "This is not a good thing." The Boss stands outside Dilbert's cubicle holding a paintball gun and wearing goggles. He peers around the doorway and thinks, "It's a deceptively easy sport."
Share June 08, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice, Wally and the Boss sit at a round table. Dogbert says, "In this team-building exercise you will make paper dolls while blindfolded." Dogbert continues, "This may seem absurd. But soon, cognitive dissonance will set in and you'll cry and hug and think you learned something." The members of the group, now blindfolded and working with scissors, begin their work. As he is about to cut his hand with the scissors, Dilbert asks, "Are you sure we'll cry and hug?" Dogbert answers, "Actually, hugging is iffy."