Search Results for "carpet"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2010's comic on:


Tags #avoid work, #lazy, #love, #crazy, #insane, #stalking, #old carpet, #married, #wide eyes

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "Wally, you helped me avoid work, and now I can't help loving you." Carol says, "I show my love by a combination of insanity and stalking." Wally says, "Aren't you married?" Carol says, "You owe me an old carpet."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2007's comic on:


Tags #carpet fishing, #devised a game, #computer, #string, #randomly picks location, #hooked fish marlin, #salmon, #killing time

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: "What are you doing?" Dilbert: "Carpet fishing." "It's a sport I invented." "I divided the carpet in my cubicle into a numbered grid." "Then I wrote a computer program that randomly picks a carpet location and a type of fish about once an hour." "If it picks the carpet location where I happen to be dangling this string, it means I hooked a fish." "Yesterday I caught a marlin." "Did you come here for some reason other than to spoil the salmon run?"

Tube Clothing Or Rug

Thank you for voting.
Tube Clothing Or Rug - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #clothes, #clothing, #insult, #nerd, #nerds, #style, #tube clothes, #invented style, #reduce decisions, #carpet, #wrapped

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Tube clothes! I invented that style! Did it reduce the number of decisions you need to make every day? Man: I'm just a guy wrapped in a carpet. Dilbert: Oh, I thought you were like me. Man: I don't have to take these insults.

Asok Remembers Being An Uber Driver

Thank you for voting.
Asok Remembers Being An Uber Driver - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #vomit, #sick, #taxi, #driver, #carpet, #smell, #nausea, #throwing up

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: When you were an Uber driver, did any passengers ever get sick in your car? Asok: They all did. The first few had motion sickness, but the last hundred lost it when they smelled the carpet.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 1989's comic on:


Tags #walk, #hallway, #stranger

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "It's so awkward to walk past strangers in hallways; you always gotta avoid eye contact." Dilbert thinks, "I know - I'll wait until we're near and then pick up that little piece of fuzz on the carpet there." Dilbert arrives at home with a bandage on his head. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then we both went for the carpet fuzz." Dogbert replies, "Smooth."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1993's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert hands Dilbert a book and says, "I thought of another way to profit from the ignorance of humans." Dogbert explains, "I wrote 'The Dogbert Formula for Health.' I recommend a daily dose of food, sleep and exercise." Dogbert says, "And for only $19.95 you can buy the patented 'Dogbert Joggerobic Carpet Patch' to help you run in place."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 1993's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert stands in front of the television. An announcer asks, "Are you tired of fad diets and fad exercise devices?" Ratbert replies, "Yes, I am!" Dogbert appears in the commercial and says, "Then buy my book and get the revolutionary Joggerobic Carpet Patch for only $19.95 plus shipping and handling." Dogbert continues, "To prove it works, we photographed an actual athlete." Ratbert says, "Pictures don't lie!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 1993's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair counting money. Dilbert says, "It looks like sales of the 'Dogbert Joggerobic Carpet Patch' are brisk." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, and I'm looking to expand." Dogbert continues, "Ratbert is busy researching new product concepts for the carpet patch." Ratbert holds the carpet patch on his head and thinks, "Carpet Club for Men."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 1993's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert says to Dogbert, "I think I've hit upon a brilliant new direction for expanding our product line." Ratbert says, "I call them 'Carpet Patch Kids.' Each one is made from carpet and has its own name!" Ratbert says to the carpet doll as he walks away, "Don't feel bad, Raquel. I don't think he meant it as a personal attack."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 1995's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "We've got a lot of empty cubicles because of downsizing." The Boss points to Dogbert, who is wearing a hard hat and holding some plans, and says, "I hired the Dogbert Construction Company to convert part of the office into prison cells which we'll lease to the state." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Sounds like a big job." Dogbert responds, "Nah. A little paint, new carpet and we're there."