Search Results for "choice"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #fraternization, #bad haircut, #poor font choice, #hand sanitizer, #substance over style

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm judging the quality of your business case by your bad haircut and your poor font choice. I plan to use a quart of hand sanitizer when I'm done touching your document. Man: I value substance over style. Alice: How's that working out?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 1996's comic on:


Tags #primary vendor, #make a choice, #impractical solution

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the Boss, ". . . But our primary vendor can't deliver, so . . ." The Boss ignores Dilbert and thinks, "I wonder what's on tv tonight." Dilbert continues, ". . . Should we risk a lawsuit or build a product that nobody on earth wants?" The Boss thinks, "Did he ask me to make a choice?" Dilbert thinks, "Will it be a request for information or an impractical solution?" The Boss says, "Let's do both!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1997's comic on:


Tags #recruiting on campus, #company, #not first choice

View Transcript

Transcript

Recruiting on Campus A jock reaches out to shake Dilbert hand. Dilbert says, "Nice to meet you..." The jock crushes Dilbert hand. Dilbert screams. The jock gives Dilbert a wedgie and says, "I have to be honest; your company isn't my fist choice."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1998's comic on:


Tags #hideous sycophant, #no hope, #career advancement, #lifestyle choice

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Allen walking down a hall. Dilbert asks, "So, Allen, what's it like to be a hideous sycophant?" Allen replies, "It's okay." Allen asks, "What's it like to have no hope of career advancement?" Dilbert responds, "Not bad." Allen and Dilbert sitting at table with food trays. Allen asks, "Were you born that way or is it a lifestyle choice?" Dilbert responds, "I'll ask my mom, but I think it was bad parenting."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 1994's comic on:


Tags #ammunition, #automatic weapons, #bazookas, #citizens, #conversation about guns, #dog, #gun ownership, #no ammunition, #right to own guns, #rocket launchers, #weapons of choice, #charlton heston

View Transcript

Transcript

"What's your position on gun ownership, Dogbert?" "I believe everybody should have the right to own guns." "What about automatic weapons?" "I'm all for them." "Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers, too." "I believe that all citizens should have the weapons of their choice." "However, I also believe that only I should have ammunition." "Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of you Goobers with anything more dangerous than string." "What about Charleton Heston?" "I'd keep the string away from him."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #acute, #acute design flaw, #crucial, #feminist questions word, #other monitor, #poor choice, #sexist puns, #word means, #words, #apology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The image ins fuzzy because the monitor has an acute design flaw. Tina: Acute? Thats an unusual choice of words. Would you have said "acute" to a mle co worker? I think not. Dilbert: It means crucial, thats all. Tina: I know what the word means! Do you think UI odnt see right through your sexist puns? Dilbert: No! I swear . it was just a poor choice of words!! Tina: Well...okay. I accept your apology this time. So whats wrong with the other monitor? dilbert: which?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 1999's comic on:


Tags #weekly wally report, #pointy haired troll, #dumped record, #levels of work, #moral delemma, #disappoint stock holders, #last ounce of happiness, #one choice, #reading ahead, #assignments

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, the boss, Dilbert and Alice are in a meeting. Wally says, "It's time now for the weekly Wally report." Wally says, "By Tuesday the pointy-haired troll had dumped record levels of work on poor Wally." Wally says, "Wally's happiness was in extreme jeapardy." Wally says, "It was a moral dilemma too." Wally says, "Would Wally disappoint the stockholders to save his own skin?" Wally says, "Or would he fight with his last ounce of happiness to complete all the assignments?" Wally says, "In the end there was only one choice." Dilbert says, "You wrote the Wally report instead of working?" Wally says, "Stop reading ahead!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2001's comic on:


Tags #praised alice, #lying, #stealing.no choice, #promote, #management

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Catbert, "I inadvertently gave Alice verbal praise." Catbert asks, "Is she addicted?" The Boss says, "She's been lying and stealing to get more." Catbert replies, "She leaves us no choice." The Boss says to Alice, "I have to promote you to management."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dozen bugs, #bugs in software, #fix for 20k, #defective porduct, #evil euphria, #no choice, #making fortune, #single source tsrategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells a salesman: "We found a dozen bugs in the software you sold us." The salesman answers: "We can fix these bugs for $20,000. Dilbert is shocked: "What?" Dilber says: "You can't charge us to fix you own defective product!" The salesman laughs boisterously. He explains: "Sorry...I was overcome by an evil euphoria." Dilbert says: "I guess we have to pay. We have no choice!" Reaching for his cell-phone, the salesman says: "Excuse me." The salesman speaks into his cell-phone: "Put more bugs in the software! I'm making a fortune out here!" Dilbert thinks: "I'm starting to question our single source strategy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #million lines of code, #irrelevent data, #key your car, #no choice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our new product has half a million lines of code!" "Translation: there's nothing good about this product, so you hope I'm impressed by irrelevant data." "Now available in ecru!" "You leave me no choice but to key your car on the way out."