Search Results for "civic responsibility"
Share December 05, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting in the jury room with two other people. The man sitting next to him asks, "What excuse are you planning to use?" Dilbert says to the man, "I'm happy to serve. It's my civic responsibility." The man says to Dilbert, "Insanity; good one."
Share March 12, 2015's comic on:
CEO: No matter how much I mentor you, you still act the same. Wally: That's because you're a terrible mentor. You owe me an apology for wasting my time. CEO: I don't think the problem is on my end. Wally: Are you teaching me how to avoid taking responsibility?
Share October 16, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert reads a letter and says, "What a stupid waste of my valuable time." Dilbert says, "It's your civic duty. It's the small dues you pay for living in a just and free society." Dogbert replies, "Big whoopee." Dilbert says, "And you get to play God with other people's lives." Dogbert says, "Well, they should say that in the letter."
Share January 21, 1995's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm promoting you to team leader." Dilbert asks, "Do I get a raise?" The Boss replies, "There's no extra money, just extra responsibility. It's how we recognize our best people." Dilbert says, "I thought all the good people leave for better companies." The Boss walks away saying, "That's another way to recognize them."
Share October 05, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert is on the phone while Dogbert watches. Dilbert says, "Mom, guess what.. I got promoted!" Dilbert says, "You're talking to the new Executive Engineer." Dilbert says, "No.. nobody reports to me. No... it's the same pay as before." Dilbert says, "But I do get a lot more responsibility!" Dogbert's ears fly up. Dilbert puts his hand over the telephone receiver and says to Dogbert, "She's going to throw a party for me!" Dilbert's Mom sits on the couch and says, "No.. no gifts. No... no music. No... no food. No.. no guests." Dilbert says, "I guess it's just you and me." Dilberts mom says, "I'm busy that day." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table wearing party hats. Dilbert says, "I'm not allowed to get new business cards, but I can write my new title on the old ones!" Dogbert falls asleep.
Share July 27, 2010's comic on:
CEO says, "The media is on our back because we accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty. We need your P.R. advice." Dogbert says, "Did you take full responsibility and promise to clean up the harbor?" CEO says, "Ooh." Earlier that day CEO says, "Many of you don't know that the Statue of Liberty was very old... and made entirely of fish food."
Share February 10, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: My projects are winding down and I'd like to take on more responsibility. Boss: Ooh. That's a problem because I just finished your performance review and it says you don't take initiative. Dilbert: I guess you need to redo that. Boss: That would be one way to play it.
Share July 13, 2014's comic on:
Tags #big business, #business ethics, #obliviousness, #core competencies, #automating things, #worshipping stars quo, #steve jobs, #reanimated body, #making lapses, #fiduciary responsibility, #hearing what we want
Dilbert: I did a study of our core competencies. It seems we're very good at automating things that we shouldn't be doing in the first place. But that's not all we're good at. We're also good at worshipping the status quo as if it were Steve Jobs' reanimated body. And no one is as good at masking lapses in fiduciary responsibility. Lastly, we're good at hearing what we want to hear. Boss: So... we're good at automating things?
Share October 17, 1990's comic on:
The caption says, "Jury selection." A lawyer says, "My client is accused of killing twelve people just like you folks." The attorney continues, "The alleged victims were all part of a previous jury who doubted my client's innocence." The jury members look horrified. The lawyer says, "This jury is acceptable to the defense."
Share October 18, 1990's comic on:
The defense lawyer says to the jury, "My client has been accused of the most heinous crimes." The attorney points to a man holding an ax and wearing an executioner's hat. The attorney asks, "But does this look like a person who could kill??" Dogbert, who is sitting next to Dilbert, raises his hand and says, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!!"