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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2007's comic on:


Tags #project, #300 days, #complete, #finish by 5oclock, #clean desk, #fired, #lose interest

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The Boss: "I hired all of you because the project will take 300 man days to complete." "There are 300 of you, so I want you to finish by five o'clock and clean out your desks. You're all fired." "If it takes more than one meeting to manage a project, I lose interest."

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Share May 22, 1996's comic on:


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The Boss stands at the door of Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, these unsightly stacks of papers are a violation of my 'clean desk' policy." Alice dumps the stack of papers over the wall into Wally's cubicle. The Boss stands at the door of Wally's cubicle. Wally is sitting upside down under a pile of paper. The Boss says, ". . . And don't even get me started about the ergonomics of THIS situation."

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Catbert: Evil H.R. Director Catbert stands atop Wally's computer monitor and waves a new policy sheet in Wally's face. "Here's the new 'clean desk' policy, Wally." Wally reads from the sheet, "Employees must lick their workplaces clean at the end of each business day." Wally stands in the doorway to the Boss's office. He says, "Do they seriously think we're this spineless and stupid?" The Boss responds, "Ahm nah chanthing it."

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At a meeting, The Boss says, "Announcing Project 'Sparkle', the clean desk policy." The Boss says, "This is a company wide effort to keep our work spaces clean." Alice says, "Tiny question. I'm curious about one thing." Alice says, "I'm picturing our top executives in the 'War Room.'" Alice waves her arms wildly and says, "They talk about the competitive threat and our lack of resources. Suddenly, panic sets in!!" Alice is wide eyed and finishes, "A lone voice of reason penetrates the confusion. Two words: Paper towels." Alice asks, "Is that pretty much how it went?" The Boss says, "Moving along. Each of you get a laminated card with our mission statement." Wally puts his arm out to restrain Alice and says, "Let me do this one." Dilbert just watches it go by. The only reason he's here is because his name is on the strip.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2001's comic on:


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The Boss hands Wally an award and says, "The Clean Desk award goes to Wally." As Wally looks at his award, The Boss continues, "Maybe Wally can share some tips on keeping our desks clutter-free." Wally looks up and responds, "I usually throw away this sort of thing in the men's room on the way back to my cubicle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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The Boss points to Asok and says, "Asok is the winner of the $25 'Clean Desk Award.'" Asok responds, "Yesterday the facilities people took my desk because it appeared to be unused." Asok sits on the floor in his cubicle. He thinks, "I hope this doesn't bump me into a higher tax bracket."

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"Asok, I designate you the keeper of the giant binder." "It contains our secret technology plans." "It can never leave this office." "It won't fit in any drawer." "And the 'clean desk policy' forbids me from leaving it on my desktop." "GAAA!! I can't take it home, and I can't leave it here!" "I must use it as a tiny bed and spend the rest of my days guarding it." "What did you do with the giant binder prop that you got at the trade show?"

Boss Gets Standing Desk

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Boss Gets Standing Desk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #fads, #desk, #standing, #health, #fitness, #office furniture, #trends

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Carol: The "standing desk" you ordered is here. I scheduled a mover to get rid of it tomorrow. Boss: Legs... so... tired. Carol: Don't slip on his tears.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2012's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #tazer, #cell phone, #boss's desk, #tased

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Wally: I invented a taser that looks exactly like a cellphone. Boss: Gaaa-a-a-a-a-a-a. Wally: I left it on our boss's desk, but it sounds like he's done with it.

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Share September 03, 1997's comic on:


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Dogbert stands opn top of a filing cabinet wearing his crown and holding his scepter. An employee looks up at Dogbert who says, "I don't like to call what I'm doing 'downsizing.' It sounds too negative. Bob the Dinosaur gives the employee a wedgie with a firm "Yank!" Dogbert says, "I like to call it 'wedgiesizing.' Now clean out your desk and shoo!" Bob says, "He didn't take that very well." Dogbert sits on the edge of the cabinet and says, "You can't please everyone, Bob."