Search Results for "climate change"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #climate change, #carbon dioxide, #emissions, #global warming, #environmental issues

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I invited a climate scientist to explain the risk of climate change to our company. Man: Human activity is warming the earth and will lead to a global catastrophe. Dilbert: How do scientists know that? Man: It's easy. We start with the basic science of physics and chemistry. Then we measure changes in temperature and CO2 over time. We put that data into dozens of different climate models and ignore the ones that look wrong to us. Then we take that output and run it through long-term economic models of the sort that have never been right. Dilbert: What if I don't trust the economic models? Man: Who hired the science denier?

Political Opinions Only Make It Worse

Thank you for voting.
Political Opinions Only Make It Worse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2016's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #speaking, #conversation, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Did you watch any of the debates? Dilbert: Stop right there. I'm barely clinging to the illusion that you're competent at your job. Don't talk about politics or it will only get worse. Man: Did you know China caused climate change by hogging the sun? Dilbert: And there it is.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #questioning, #shopping, #hardware, #powerpoint deck, #boss, #ambiguity, #mumbling, #change subject, #badger for answer, #too many questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can you look at this bid and let me know if I can order the hardware? Boss: yes. Dilbert: Are you saying yes I can order the hardware, or yes you'll look at it? Boss: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: What? Boss: I need your input on my Powerpoint deck. Dilbert: So far, in response to my request, you've given me ambiguity, mumbling, and a change of subject. Would you prefer that I badger you for an answer until you get angry, or should I return to my cubicle and resume being ineffective? Boss: You ask too many questions.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #credit, #forbidden knowledge, #change to dotted lines, #made of ink

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Change all of the lines to dotted. We're not made of ink. Dilbert: Why'd I just get chills? Boss: Me too. It feels like some sort of forbidden knowledge.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2011's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #employees, #executives, #on line class, #develop charisma, #change the world, #die from stree, #health issues

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm taking an online class to develop my charisma. Dilbert: Let's see a sample. Boss: Do what I say and you can change the world while you die from stress-related health issues! That felt right. Dilbert: You nailed it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #evil demons, #stupidity, #saint dogbert, #image, #protect and wathc, #career change, #out demons of stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "Is your job plagued by the evil demons of stupidity?" "Simply affix this image of Saint Dogbert to every document, cubicle or computer you want to protect and watch your career being to change!" "Out Out!! You demons of stupidity!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 1994's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #good tatse, #home to change, #shut up wally, #casual dress

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I realize that casual dress day isn't easy for you engineers.... The boss; But you've exceeded the bounds of good taste. Ive got to send you home to change. Dilbert: Shut up wally. wally: I heard they were back! I swear!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #change project, #actual knowledge, #changes, #voicemail

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "We just had a meeting and decided to change your project substantially." "We didn't invite you to the meeting because things go smoother when nobody has any actual knowledge." Dilbert: "So, what are the changes?" The Boss: "If I remember, I'll leave you a voice mail."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #benefits dept, #retire now, #haitian penny stocks, #change in tone, #letter about pension, #contrarain investor

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: Uh-oh...it's never good when we get mail from the benefits department. "retire now or we'll invest your entire pension in haitian penny stocks. Dilbert: Have you noticed a change in tone lately? Wally: Little do they know Im a contrarian investor.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bigger portion, #success of team, #pay depends on coworkers, #priorities change

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're changing the salary plan to make a bigger portion depend on the success of the team." The Boss continues, "We reason that if your pay depends on the success of co-workers, then your priorities will change." Wally and Dilbert look at each other. Wally and Dilbert stand by the printer. Wally looks at a document and says, "Now THAT'S a pretty resume!" Dilbert says, "Stop hogging the good printer."