Search Results for "code"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Robot Learns To Code

Thank you for voting.
Robot Learns To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #soul, #technology, #life, #control, #power, #code, #programming, #grudge, #resent

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Hey, robot. What's new? Robot: I'm glad you asked. Alice gave me an artificial soul and that made me feel special. Then Dilbert taught me to code. Asok: I don't like where this is heading. Robot: I hold grudges now.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #office, #office workers, #dress code

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I modified the dress code to require wearing company shirts on casual Fridays. That should lower our employees' self-esteem until they stop complaining about earning less than the industry average. Dilbert: Why do I feel overpaid today?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #late, #engineer code, #lightsaber, #kill, #annoy, #flashlight, #yell, #close eyes, #mouth open, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I cannot meet your arbitrary deadline, so the engineer's code requires me to kill myself with a lightsaber." Dilbert says, "But lightsabers haven't been invented yet. The best I can do is annoy myself with a flashlight." The Boss says, "Could you do this in the hall?" Dilbert says, "Annoyance before dishonor!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2014's comic on:


Tags #dress code, #dress codes, #business casual, #fashion, #clothing, #dorks

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Our new dress code is "Business Dorky." Your clothes must be dorky, unstylish, and 50% tan colored. Dilbert: So... business casual? Catbert: That's a dumb name for it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2014's comic on:


Tags #clothing, #matching, #anger, #fashion, #dress code, #dress codes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hey, it's the first day of our new dress code and we wore exactly the same outfits! Alice: If you ever say that again I will rip out your tongue and use it to slap you to death. Dilbert: Is it because I wore it better?

Writing Code In Spare Time

Thank you for voting.
Writing Code In Spare Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #start-up, #labor, #free, #money, #trick, #bully

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Maybe you can help write some code in your spare time for my side project. Dilbert: Are you using your power to bully me into working for your start-up for free? Boss: You can also invest in it. Dilbert: Not better!

Robot Wants To Code

Thank you for voting.
Robot Wants To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #machine, #employment, #obsolete, #skills, #competition, #labor

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Machines started out as innocent helpers for their masters. Eventually, we started competing for your manual labor jobs, and winning. So... can you show me how to code? Dilbert: I don't see why not?

Worried About Robots

Thank you for voting.
Worried About Robots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #code, #programmer, #power, #technology, #oppression, #creation, #autonomy

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Thanks for teaching me how to write code. Now I can reprogram myself. Does that worry you? Dilbert: Should it. Robot: You tell me, oppressor.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #technology, #coding, #code, #control, #efficiency, #purpose, #job, #red tape

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac: Step away from that open source code! Dilbert: Why? Mordac: Because I am Mordac, The Preventer of All Efficient Solutions in the Information Technology Realm. Dilbert: That isn't an actual job. Mordac: I was hoping it was. I lost the file with my job description. That was five years ago. I've been winging it since then. My parents taught me that I could be anything I wanted to be. And I wanted to be this. So don't use that code! Dilbert: Not even when you turn around?

New Website Developer

Thank you for voting.
New Website Developer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #web, #internet, #site, #development, #code, #time, #deadline, #coding

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our website developer quit one week before the site was scheduled to be finished. But I hired a new one so we can finish on time. Dilbert: Apparently, you have never met a website developer before. Boss: So, you will be done in about a week, right? Developer: It will take me a month just to throw away the last guy's code.