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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #anxiety, #internet & world wide web, #password recovery, #password, #pin code, #user name, #code word, #complicated planet, #floyd, #first person, #breath, #jump, #outer psce

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Dogbert: Are you trying to recover a password, PIN code, user name, pass code or code word? Man: I hate this stupid complicated planet! I am so out of here! Dogbert's password recovery service. And that is how Floyd became the first person to hold his breath and jump into outer space.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2008's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #valuable, #value, #legacy system, #less valuable, #never appear less valuable, #dress code troll

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Dilbert: I worry that being assigned to work on the legacy systems will make me appear less valuable in the future. Catbert: You have my word that you could never appear less valuable than you are now. Gilbert: Why do your assurances make me feel worse? Catbert: Your new dress code is "troll."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #eat, #scare, #Word, #troll, #dress code, #cubicle, #scaring vendors, #word gets around

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Dilbert: I got reassigned to manage our legacy systems. The dress code is "troll." My cubicle is under the walkway. My side job is scaring vendors. Dogbert: Is that hard? Dilbert: Only the first day. After you eat one vendor, work gets around.

Robot Learns To Code

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Robot Learns To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #soul, #technology, #life, #control, #power, #code, #programming, #grudge, #resent

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Asok: Hey, robot. What's new? Robot: I'm glad you asked. Alice gave me an artificial soul and that made me feel special. Then Dilbert taught me to code. Asok: I don't like where this is heading. Robot: I hold grudges now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #confused, #emails accounts, #internet & world wide web, #might snap, #pin code, #too many passwords, #user names, #chaos, #crazy, #lose it, #mental, #breakdown, #overload, #technological

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Dogbert's password recovery service. Ted: I have so many passwords and email accounts and user names that I don't know what goes to what. I'm lost. If you can't help me I think I might snap. Dogbert: No problem. What's your password recovery PIN code? Noise: SNAP!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #approved underwear list, #blue jeans, #forbidden clothes, #morale, #new casual dress code, #shorts, #tanktops

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The Boss: "I thought it necessary to provide detailed guidelines to our new casual dress code." "Forbidden clothing includes: shorts, tank tops, tee shirts, shirts with slogans, blue jeans, sneakers and sandals." Dilbert: "My morale is soaring." The Boss: "Appendix 'A' is the approved underwear list."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #actual fashion, #fridays, #garanimals, #new dress code, #scrutinized, #sears

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The Boss: The new dress code allows casual clothing on fridays. Wally and Dilbert: Gulp The Boss: You'll have to make actual fashion decisions that will be scrutinized by hundreds of your coworkers! wally: Im thinking "garanimals" form 'sears"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #all assignments, #big binder, #same building, #president, #good word, #two good words

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"Ratbert the consultant" "It looks like you've all done your assignments for me." "Your input is so important that I'll have it put in a big binder in stored in the same building that your president works!" "And I'll put in a good word for you when I meet with your boss later today." "Wink, thumbs up" "How about two good words?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #genus, #derogatory word, #rat, #rattus, #define its own name, #dog, #smarter than stupid rattus

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"From now on, I prefer that you not refer to my genus by the derogatory word 'rat'." "The correct word is 'rattus'. It is the right of any group to define its own name. You must respect that." "Don't call me a dog anymore. From now on my correct name is 'smarter-than-a-stupid-rattus'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 1994's comic on:


Tags #no work, #invented code, #accounting systems, #mid 80s, #undocumented spaghetti logic, #holy grail, #technology

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Dilbert: "I've never seen you do any real work around here, Irv. How do you get away with it?" IRV: "I wrote the code for our accounting system back in the mid-eighties. It's a million lines of undocumented spaghetti logic." DILBERT: "It's the Holy Grail of technology!!" IRV: "You boys may find a little extra in your envelopes this month."