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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1996's comic on:


Tags #building databse, #coffee mugs, #poor processes, #probelm, #slogan on mugs, #project team

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss asks, "You haven't heard what the problem is yet; how can you recommend building a database to solve it??" Wally says, "We always build a database." Dilbert says, "And we'll need coffee mugs for the project team." The Boss says, "The PROBLEM is that we have poor processes." Wally responds, "That could be the slogan on our mugs!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #wally report, #hair grow long, #ponytail, #artistic side, #collect coffee mugs, #meeting

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Wally, Dilbert and the boss sit in a meeting. Wally's hair shoots up on either side of his bald spot. Wally says, "In this week's "Wally Report, " I've decided to let my hair grow long in the back." Wally says, "Eventually, I'll put it in a ponytail to show I have an artistic side." The boss says, "What's your artitstic side?" Wally says, "I collect coffee mugs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2014's comic on:


Tags #stress, #experiment, #flattened organization, #best play, #beat each other, #coffee, #mugs, #smooth transition

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Boss: Our experiment with flattened organization failed. I'm your boss again. Dilbert: I think our best pay here is to beat each other to death with our coffee mugs. Boss: No one said the transition would be smooth. Dilbert: Make the first one count.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2007's comic on:


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"You have a pattern of raising no objections to plans and later acting as if you opposed them from the start." "I hope to thwart you by asking you to sign off on this plan in writing." "Ooh, if only you had asked me before my hands got stuck in these coffee mugs."

Pipe Down, Coffee Intern

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Pipe Down, Coffee Intern - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #board meeting, #change, #coffee, #demotion, #ego, #ideas, #Promotion, #intern, #new ideas

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Asok: Is it wise to ride your coffee intern to a board meeting? Wally: Pipe down, coffee intern. If you were capable of thinking like a leader, you would be a VP too. Dilbert: Demoted already? Wally: The board does not like new ideas.

Wally's Coffee Ideas

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Wally's Coffee Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #coffee, #obsession, #caffeine, #decaf, #competition, #thinking, #intelligence

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Wally: I recommend buying the company that supplies coffee to our biggest competitor. We'll replace their regular coffee with decaf enjoy a solid 20-point I.Q. advantage over them. Boss: Do all of your ideas involve coffee. Wally: Only the good ones.

Wally Accidentally Invents Coffee Warmer

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Wally Accidentally Invents Coffee Warmer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #invention, #engineer, #coffee, #cell phone, #technology, #idea

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Wally: Nothing is going right today. My phone charger is too hot, and my coffee is too cold. Dilbert: Did you just invent a phone charger that keeps your coffee warm? Wally: Did I? Dilbert: I'll have a prototype for you tomorrow. Narrator: Continued...

Wally's Coffee Drone

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Wally's Coffee Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #management, #ideas, #invention, #coffee

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Wally: My leadership job didn't last long. I got demoted back to engineering. I guess they realized all of my ideas are about coffee. Dilbert: I've noticed that too. Wally: Watch out for my coffee drone behind you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #gadgets, #hardware, #robotic arms, #hold coffee cups, #industry changing products

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Wally: One percent of engineers create all of the industry - changing products. I propose replacing the other 99% with robotic arms that hold coffee cups. You won't see any of the laggards in the 99% come up with great ideas like this one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #automobile travel, #automobiles (cars), #weather, #zero degrees, #icy roads, #coffee, #traffic, #guradrail, #3 hours late

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Boss: You're just now getting here? Wally: It's zero degrees and the roads are all ice. I drank six cups of coffee before leaving the house and sat in traffic for two hours. Boss: You're three hours late. Wally: I spent the last hour stuck to a guardrail.