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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #office equipment, #email servers, #inbox, #vowels only, #complain, #loudest, #complain to boss

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Dilbert: Ever since you moved our email servers to Transylbonia, my inbox has nothing but vowels. I.T. person: We I.T. people only respond to whoever complains loudest. You should complain to your bosss. Dilbert: I will! Boss' Computer: A ui aoe uie ou eai!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2008's comic on:


Tags #complain, #garbage, #job, #trash

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Dilbert: My new assignment is "troll in charge of the legacy systems." I guess I shouldn't complain. I'm lucky to have a job in this economy. Garbageman: Would a free bag of garbage make you feel better? Dilbert: A little.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2010's comic on:


Tags #mordac, #preventer of information services, #upgrade computer, #vampire, #evil smile, #panic, #caveman, #complain, #costumes

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Mordac the Preventer of Information Services Mordac says, "It's time for your operating system upgrade." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!" Dilbert says, "Please don't! My CMS software won't work with the new operating system. I'll be a technology have-not!" The Boss says, "It's never good when they wear costumes to complain." Dilbert says, "Ooga"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #death & dying, #health insurance

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Dogbert: Here's the first draft of an advance health care directive I wrote for you. Dilbert: "Kill me if I have a headache. Kill me if I'm itchy. Kill me if I complain too much." I might have some edits. Dogbert: There's your complaining again!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #quarreling

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Dogbert: Each of you has already mastered the art of being useless at work. It's time to take it to the next level. Today I will teach you how to be toxic. Toxic people talk about two types of things. One: bring up topics that are sure to cause others to fight. Two: complain about your personal problems at every opportunity. Your homework is to practice at work tomorrow. Wally: I mentioned to Alice that you think her plan is kind of lame.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2012's comic on:


Tags #hats, #inventions, #brainwave reader, #nearest computer thoughts, #blurry image, #video, #beta version, #video quality

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Dilbert: My brainwave reader invention can control the nearest computer with my thoughts. Boss: Why am I seeing a video of a blurry image that looks like you slapping another blurry thing that looks like me? Dilbert: I don't think it's fair to complain about the video quality of the beta version.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1993's comic on:


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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, ". . . And people who don't bother to vote have no right to complain." Dogbert asks, "Why not?" Dilbert replies, "Why not? It's obvious. No vote means no right to complain. You can't get much more logical than that." Dilbert says, "Besides, that's how I was raised." Dogbert asks, "You were raised by bumper stickers?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #complaining

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Alice: Stop whatever you're doing and go research the answer to this question. Brad: I don't have time to work on low-priority tasks. Alice: Give me ten minutes to transform it into an emergency. Brad is being unhelpful. I need you to talk to his boss. Boss: Sure. Brad refuses to help Alice. Brad's Boss: Help her do what? Boss: I don't know, but obviously it's very important because it got escalated. Brad's Boss: It must be an emergency because everyone is all worked up about it. Alice: Now hum a happy tune or I'll complain about your attitude.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 1995's comic on:


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Catbert and the Boss stand on either side of a hole in the floor. Catbert says, "As Director of Human Resources I have developed a policy for handling the employees who complain." Catbert continues, "It's a big hole. I'll trick the whiners into getting in it. And then I'll cover them with sand." The Boss says, "I don't see how this could possibly work." Catbert says, "There's a detailed explanation at the bottom of the hole."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Alice sits at her desk listening to sounds coming over the cubicle wall. She clenches her teeth and thinks, "Oh, no . . . It's the maddening sound of Wally clipping his nails." Alice thinks, "The sound makes me crazy, but I can't complain because it would sound silly. Must . . . Wait . . ." Dilbert stands behind Wally and asks, "You made your own screen saver?" Wally replies, "It's called 'Wally's 101 Annoying Cubicle Sounds.'" The sound of slurping comes from his computer.