Search Results for "complaint letters"
Share August 04, 2003's comic on:
"Tina, we need some customer success stories for the web site." "The closest things we have are these complaint letters. Just change a few words." "Change 'kick' to 'kiss' and this one is done, albeit disturbingly."
Share May 03, 2012's comic on:
Customer: Your free app is stealing my personal information. I'd like to lodge a complaint. Dogbert: Buy our monthly subscription package or I'll send your browser history to your contacts. Dilbert: How's your app going? Dogbert: It practically sells itself.
Share November 20, 1997's comic on:
Dogbert Research Co. Dogbert says, "First question: What would you losers do if a small dog with glasses took advantage of you?" A man shakes his fist and says, "We would complain to the... um... whoever handles that sort of thing!" The woman says, "Yeah!" The man shows up at the "Bureau of Dogs." He says to Dogbert, who sits behind a desk earing a turban, "It costs fifty bucks to file a complaint?" Dogbert says, "And ten bucks to borrow a pen."
Share February 24, 1998's comic on:
Swami Doghbert is at the staff meeting with Dilbert, The Boss and Wally. He wears a turban wth a cresent moon on it and says, "I've been hired to find the gullible fool who continues to send anonymous chain letters to everyone." Dogbert waves his hands in the air and says, "I place the Curse of Dogbert on all past and future senders of chain letters." The Boss looks like Dogbert (dog ears and dog nose) and says, "I think I saw Wally flinch." Dogbert and Dilbert stare at him.
Share February 26, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert has been struck by the Curse of Dogbert. He has Dogbert's ears and nose. Dilbert says to the garbage man, "...And the Dogbert Curse strikes anyone who sends a chain letter. But the letter said I'd die if I didn't." Dilbert continues, "You're the world's smartest garbage man. How would you handle this?" The garbage man shoves a bag of trash into the garbage truck. Dilbert walks up to Dogbert dressed as a garbage man, but still looking like Dogbert. He says, "Did you know there's also a Garbage Man's Curse for people who send chain letters?" Swami Dogbert wears his turban and wags his tail.
Share April 06, 1998's comic on:
Tags #mordac, #preventer of information services, #guidlines for passwords, #six characters, #include numbers and letters, #upper and lower case, #change once a month, #touture employees, #write nothing down
Man comes up to Dilbert and introduces himself, "I am Mordac, the preventer of information services. I bring new guidelines for passwords." Dilbert reads the guidelines, "'All passwords must be at least six characters long.. include numbers and letters.. include a mix of upper and lower case..'" Dilbert continues to read, "'Use different passwords for each system change once a month, do not write anything down.'" Mordac yells, "Squeal like a pig!!"
Share August 21, 2000's comic on:
Handing the candidate a sheet of paper the Boss asks, "If I hired you how would you respond to something like this?" The candidate reads the paper and replies, "I usully ignore chain letters." The Boss says, "Let's try another." Carol asks the Boss, "Did you finish your in-basket?" The Boss answers, "No, I'll need a few more applicants?
Share November 06, 2004's comic on:
Catbert: The number one complaint from employees is 'unclear objectives.' The Boss: My number one complaint is that it takes too much effort for me to be clear. Catbert: Lets call it a tie. The bossL what are they so selfish?
Share September 22, 2008's comic on:
Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert says, "Please hold while I escalate your complaint about my service." Dogbert says, "Hallow. Dis ees Doogbert's sooper-biser. You are a stupid, stupid, loooser." Dogbert says, "Ookay, pleeze hoold while I escooolade eben furder."
Share December 05, 2004's comic on:
The Boss: "Now what?" Dilbert: "Create a password that's at least six characters long with a mix of letters and numbers." "How about 123?" Dilbert: "Uh, no." Dilbert: "It has to include letters and be at least six characters long." "How about ABC?" Dilbert: "Letters AND numbers and at least six characters LONG!" The Boss: "Foursome?" Dilbert: "GAAA!"