Search Results for "conflicts of interest"
Share January 13, 2003's comic on:
A man with hair pointy like antennae approaches The Boss and says, "Hello, potential client. I'm a consultick." The consultick continues, "I'll burrow into your corporate skin, suck your cash and never leave." The consultick continues, "My firm has a track record of huge consulting failures and conflicts of interest!" The Boss thinks, "No red flags."
Share December 15, 2004's comic on:
"I'll recommend your stock to the public, but first I need some conflicts of interest to make it worthwhile." "For example, I'll need to get your investment banking business." "Okay." "And you need to merge with my other client that makes poison waffles." "Okay."
Share December 14, 2004's comic on:
Alice: I didn't like the way he was looking at me. The Boss: "This isn't good." "He was the only stock analyst who had a "buy" recommendation on our company." Alice: "I think we're a "hold" now." The Boss: "Where will we find another one with so much conflict of interest??!"
Share March 10, 2012's comic on:
Woman: I like men who are confident in any situation. Dilbert: Within that subset of men, do you prefer the phonies or the ones who are too dumb to know when they shouldn't be confident? Dogbert: What went wrong this time? Dilbert: I showed interest in her opinion.
Share January 10, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert enters carrying a briefcase and meets Wally who is pushing a shopping cart. Wally says, "Now that we don't have our own cubicles I have to keep my binders in this shopping cart." Wally draws on a cubicle wall with a can of spray paint and says, "And I've developed a strong interest in graffiti as a way to express my individuality." Dilbert says, "Well . . . It could be worse." Wally continues, "I'm thinking of joining a gang."
Share April 17, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert sits on a pillow on the floor working on his laptop. Dogbert tells him, "I'm going into business as a financial advisor." Dilbert says, "Sounds hard." Dogbert says, "It's easy. I'll tell all my clients to invest in the 'Dogbert Deferred Earnings Fund.'" Dilbert asks, "Isn't that a conflict of interest?" Dogbert replies, "Only if I show interest in the client."
Share May 23, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert says to the Boss, "My salary depends on your opinion of my work. But you have no interest in understanding what I do, so . . ." Dogbert enters carrying a briefcase. Dilbert gestures toward him and says, "I hired the Dogbert Public Relations Firm to hype my performance and get me a big raise." Dogbert hands the Boss a document and says, "Press release: engineer cures cancer while saving baby from burning building." The Boss says, "That's not in his objectives."
Share July 19, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert says to The Boss, "How could our accounting firm not notice that we were heading for bankruptcy?" The Boss replies, "Maybe there was a conflict of interest with their T-shirt design business." Dogbert holds up a T-shirt in front of Ratbert and says, "This one says, 'I'm with bankrupt' and it has an arrow." Ratbert replies, "Hee Hee!"
Share October 28, 2004's comic on:
Share June 18, 2005's comic on:
The Boss: "Our core values are service, intergrity, respect, teamwork, responsibility, trust, diversity, value, honesty, fun, passion, fairness and excellence." wally: "How should we deal with the inherent conflicts? I mean, what if I want to be irresponsible in a fun and passionate way?" The Boss: "You have to do all of them." "I notice that hygiene didn't make the list.