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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #elbonian factory, #hysterical blindness, #hats, #long hats, #elbonian, #conveyor belt

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Dilbert: We have a safety problem at our Elbonian factory. We're getting reports of hysterical blindness. They don't what's causing it. Elbonian: I can't see!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1997's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #telewedgie, #relocating, #compnay, #phone behind, #belt level, #albeit

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I've asked Bob the Dinosaur to cal your CEO and give him a telewedgie." Bob holds a cordless phone. Dilbert asks, "Will that stop him from moving the company?" Over the phone, Bob says, "... now hold the phone behind you at belt level..." Dogbert says, "Stranger things have happened, albeit not often." Bob yanks the CEO's underwear through the phone, giving him a wedgie. On the other end, the CEO screams.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #chest pains, #my heart, #anti gravity belt, #invented, #cpr, #engineers say

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Man that looks like Mordac sits between Dilbert and Ted. Mordac says, "Chest pains.... My heart.." Mordac says, "I invented a antigravity belt but it's hidden!" Mordac keels over, his feet wave in the air. Ted says, "Do you think it's true?" Dilbert says, "It's what engineers says to increase the odds of getting CPR."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 1999's comic on:


Tags #alpha numeric pager, #clips to ear, #belt, #going to hell

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Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee pot. The boss says, "Look at this great alpha-numeric pager I bought." Wally says, "Wow! It's the kind that clips to you ear instead of your belt." The boss says, "Is it?" Wally and Dilbert walk away. Dilbert says, "You're going to hell." The boss can be heard, "Ow! Ow!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2001's comic on:


Tags #ultimate tool, #mobile professional, #pda, #phone, #pager, #digital camera, #fax, #email, #laptop, #shredder, #clips belt, #too large, #everything

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The Boss leans across a table and says to Dilbert, "I found the ultimate tool for the mobile professional." The Boss leans down in order to get it. He continues, "It's a combination PDA, phone, pager, digital camera, fax, e-mail, laptop and shredder." The Boss produces a large gadget, half the size of him and puts it on the table. He says, "It clips right to my belt!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #six sigma consulatant, #identify probelms, #control fist, #give me a belt, #second step

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Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert says to the meeting, "The first step is to identify your problems." The Boss responds, "We don't have any problems. What's the second step?" Alice pins one hand down with the other and clenches her teeth. She thinks to herself, "Must..control...fist." The Boss says, "I hope someone gives me a belt."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2005's comic on:


Tags #forecast, #predcit, #pants so high, #kill self with belt, #statue erected, #honor of blet, #stupid towns people

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The Boss: "Alice, I need your forecast and I need it right now." Alice: "I predict that someday you'll wear your pants so high that you'll choke yourself to death with your belt." "And the towns-people will erect a statue to honor your belt." The Boss: "Stupid towns-people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 1992's comic on:


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Dilbert stands in front of the dresser wearing a belt with several pieces of electronic equipment attached to it. Dilbert says, "Let's see . . . I've got my cellular phone, my pager, palm computer, personal organizer, wireless modem . . ." Dilbert looks in the mirror and continues, "Yeah, I'd say I'm pretty much the envy of engineers everywhere . . . Looking good . . . Looking good . . ." Dogbert says, "Words escape me . . ." Dilbert takes something out of his belt and says, "Here, I'll fire up the old thesaurus."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 1992's comic on:


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Dilbert, who is wearing a belt with several electronic devices attached to it, says, "Wally, I notice that all you have is a pager and a calculator watch." Wally thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert continues, "That's pathetic compared to my vast array of personal electronics. Do you yield to my technical superiority?" The caption says, "When a male engineer challenges another for dominance of the pack, there is a brief ritualistic battle rarely seen by outsiders." Wally says, "Stay back, I've got a compass!!" Dilbert yells, "Wireless fax!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 1992's comic on:


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Dilbert says to another engineer with electronic devices strapped to his body, "Please don't hurt me, Techno-Bill!" Bill says, "Make your move." Dilbert thinks, "My only chance is to use my cellular phone and modem to dial into his control module and set off all his systems." Techno-Bill says as he presses a button on his cellular phone, "Fool! I have autodialing." Dilbert runs away screaming as the gadgets on his belt ring and beep.