Search Results for "copy"
Share May 07, 2011's comic on:
Bob In Procurement Dinosaur: I need the signed original contract to process your order. Dilbert: Because we're in the Middle Ages? Dinosaur: Ouch! Your stinging sarcasm has embarrassed me into saying I will accept a faxed copy. Are we good now? Dilbert: Absolutely. Because the 1950s is a happy time.
Share December 05, 1994's comic on:
The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss says, "We've studied the Japanese model and decided to copy their best practices." Dilbert says, "Long term investing?" The Boss holds up a microphone and yells, "Karaoke!" The Boss stands on the table and sings, "Shaft! Can you dig it?" Dilbert looks at the reader and says, "Thank God we don't have lifetime employment."
Share March 15, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a conference table with the Boss and three other managers. Dogbert says, "Your stock was $30 per share when I offered to buy the company, but thanks to some timely leaks to the media your value has plunged." Dogbert continues, "However, if you sell right now I'll pay the full $30 for your stock." The Boss says, "I recommend we do it." A manager hands the signed contract back to Dogbert and says, "Done. $30 per share is more than fair." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, 'per share' would have been fair. Anybody want a copy?" The Boss looks shocked.
Share July 31, 1997's comic on:
Wally stands infront of his cubicle. The Boss says, "Due to space constraints, some people will have to share cubicles." The Boss reads from a sheet of paer. "According to the list, your new roommate will be... the copy machine." Wally sits at his desk, his head pressed into the butt of the large woman standing behind him at the copy machine. She says, "Is it claustrophobic in here or is it just me?"
Share January 24, 1998's comic on:
A guy with cold sweat hands a paper to Dilbert. he says, "I finished my work despite having a slight flu. Here's your copy." Dilbert says, "Um... you should give that to Wally." The guy says, "Wally isn't on this project." Dilbert says, "I know. I just figure he has the least reason to live."
Share August 31, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert holds a paper and says, "I'll make a quick copy and then we can discuss it." The Boss says, "No, no. I'll have my secretary do that." Dilbert protests, "That will take longer." The Boss says, "It's more cost-effective." The Boss hands the paper to Carol and says,"We're highly-paid professionals. Carol is... well... I don't know if we pay her at all." The Boss says, "Now we'refree to do high-level planning." DIlbert says, "Um... we kinda need that document." Carol is in her cubicle and drops the document on a stack of papers labeled "Urgent." She looks at her watch and says, "Ooh, time for lunch." Dilbert rests his head in his hands and the Boss says, "So... do you fish?"
Share July 06, 1999's comic on:
A balding man with extreamly long hair and beard sees Alice in the hall. Bearded man says, "I did it!" Bearded man says, "It's a strategic technology plan that everyone supports." ALice smiles. Bearded man says, "If only there were a way to copy images from one piece of paper to many." Alice frowns.
Share August 11, 1999's comic on:
Wally and dilbert stand in front of the boss. Their shirts are torn and dirty, thier faces are burnt and cut. Dilbert says, "The huge product requirements document was destroyed in a freak accident." The boss says, "I'll ask marketing to send you a new copy." As Dilbert and Wally walk away, wally says, "I told you we can't stop them one-bee-at-a-time. We have to go for the queen."
Share December 28, 2001's comic on:
The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I just sent you an email." The Boss continues, "Here's a copy of my message but I'll just tell you what it says." The Boss concludes, "It says I sent you a voice mail telling you to look for a fax that says I want to talk to you." Alice clenches her teeth.
Share June 01, 2002's comic on:
The Boss says to Catbert, "I read this motivational book and yet the employees still have low morale." Catbert responds, "Maybe you have a defective copy. You should compare it to another one and see what's different." The Boss asks, "What if the second one is defective too?" Catbert replies, "Sheesh... It's like I'm doing all of your thinking here."