Search Results for "creative accounting"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #idea, #reality, #accuracy, #creative accounting, #numbers, #math, #error, #excel, #spreadsheet

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: What are the odds that you made this complicated spreadsheet without any critical errors? Boss: Does it matter, as long as it gives me the answer I want? Alice: It should. Boss: But ask yourself if it does.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #stress, #creative, #ethical shortcuts, #less honest, #questions, #uncomfortable, #job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Interview Alice: Are you creative? Man: Oh, yes. I'm very creative. Alice: Research tells us that creative people take ethical shortcuts and are generally less honest. Man: Ooh. Alice: Do you take a long time to do things? Man: I don't know the right answer!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #thinking, #creative person, #bad at math, #analytical skills, #permanent

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I like to think of myself as a creative person. Alice: And by that you mean you're bad at math and you don't have any analytical skills. Dilbert: Is it permanent?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2011's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #meetings, #creative ideas, #next prodcut, #ignorance on public disply, #cost money, #increase risk, #evaluate each idea, #disdain, #good idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need creative ideas for our next product. But not from you. Your ideas are awful. And don't suggest something that is already being done. That just puts your ignorance on public display. I don't want to hear any ideas that cost money or increase risk. As usual, I'll evaluate each idea by repeating it slowly while I look at your with disdain. If you come up with a good idea, I'll let you take on the project in addition to your existing work. Who wants to go first? How did I hire so many people who have no ideas? Catbert: Probably bad luck.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #thinking, #creative, #teacher, #business card, #ideationista

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired Ken to teach us how to be more creative. According to his business card, his title is "ideationista." Ken: That was some of my best work.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2012's comic on:


Tags #algorithm, #attraction, #creative men, #creativity is random, #dating, #free will, #humans, #illusion, #moist robots, #parties, #shop around, #short term relationsips

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Okay, what's going on here? Dilbert: I'm creative. Studies show that women prefer creative men for short-term relationships. Woman: That plant is random, not creative. Dilbert: Creativity is random. If creativity were anything but random, someone would have figured out the algorithm by now. I notice that your pupils are dilating. That's a sign of attraction. My plan is working. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now. Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #big fat guy, #blob, #condescending, #creative director, #foster innovation, #new hire

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert, Id like you to meet the humorless blob I hired. Blob is our new creative director. His job is to foster innovation. Dilbert: I have some ideas. Blob: Whoa, loose cannon.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1999's comic on:


Tags #venture capitalists, #web based business, #lazy, #dishonest, #create, #accounting irregularities, #energy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally walks into Dilbert's cubicle holding a huge bag of money. Wally has long hair pulled back into a ponytail. Wally says, "Venture capitalists gave me money to start a web-based business." Dilbert says, "Do they know that you're lazy and dishonest?" Wally says, "It didn't come up." Dilbert says, "What'll you create... besides accounting irregularities?" Wally says, "That's all I have the energy for."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 1999's comic on:


Tags #after 5 club, #select group, #employees, #creative ideas, #club for people, #during business hours

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, who is seated at his computer, "Wally, you are invited to my new 'after-5 club.'" The Boss says, "A select group of employees will meet after work to think of creative ideas." Wally turns to The Boss and says, "Is there a club for people who know how to think during business hours?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2001's comic on:


Tags #ad agency, #creative team, #peter peters, #robert roberts, #holly hollister

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally looks on as The Boss introduces some new people. The Boss says, "I'd like you to meet our ad agency's creative team." Presenting 2 men and a woman, each of whom has a goatee, The Boss says, "Pete Peters, Robert Roberts, and Holly Hollister." Pete Peters says, "Witty remark, anyone?" Dilbert looks on as Robert Roberts says nothing and Holly Hollister says, "I've got nothing."